Emotional Intuitive

Today I started reading Sherrie Dillard’s Discover Your Psychic Type.  The book (and Sherrie) have been on my radar for a long time and finally I have the opportunity to read it.  I just finished the chapter that totally gave me one of those “clicks” I used to write about.

I had pretty much guessed my type was Emotional, but the quiz score verified it.

Back in February my parents came to visit for Bella’s birthday.  It was a lovely weekend and when they left I felt sad.  In fact I felt more than sad.  I felt grief-stricken.  I couldn’t do anything that day but lay around and stare off into space.  At some point in the day I knew something wasn’t right.  I love my parents and miss them dearly, but this feeling was too much to bear.  It was then that the idea popped into my head that I was actually feeling my mother’s sadness.  It made sense seeing as she only sees me and her two precious granddaughters about twice a year.

Last week I was with a friend having coffee.  She was telling me about helping family members through difficult times.  As she talked to me I just started tearing up right along with her.  Even though she gave me no details, I could feel the pain around the situations.

Another day last week a friend told me they have a serious illness.  The news should have upset me but it didn’t.  Later I tried to figure out why I hadn’t cried (like I’m so inclined to do) or felt sad and I realized it’s because my friend is very optimistic and I could feel the optimism.

My relationship with Mark pretty much revolves around sensing his feelings.  Only recently have I realized that though.  If he is stressed out, I feel it.  If he’s happy, I am too.  I can sit in a cluttered house all day long and not notice it but the second he gets home I look around at the “hot spots” and get antsy.  Today he accidentally ordered the wrong flavor of ice cream and I was so disappointed about it.  Our relationship is the strongest and most loving one in my life, because of this when he goes out of town, I feel incomplete.  The love he has for me literally fills me up and when it’s not close by I’m depleted.

Those were a few examples of my emotional intuition. It explains why I have a hard time being in crowds and why I get so excited every time I go to Disney World (even though I’ve been there about 20 times now).  I loved what I learned in the emotional intuitive  chapter.  So much of it described me and the goals I have for my life.   And I have to admit I was crying even as I read the first paragraph.  That was a indicator it resonated.  This is what it said:

Emotional intuitives travel the path of the heart.  They are driven by the desire for transcendental love, connection, passion, and service to others.  They are in tune with the soul’s quest for a purpose-driven life and for the perfect union, which may be the union of the soul with God, the soul mate, or the twin flame, who is another person or entity that is their soul equivalent.

Feeling the Right Way

Over the summer we had RSVPed to a wedding in St. Pete Beach.  I was very excited about the decision to go.  It felt right.  A couple of days before the trip Mark noticed a tropical storm on the radars heading straight for the place we were going.  He asked me if we were still going to go.  I said yes.  I felt yes.  On the drive there the weather continued to look gloomier and gloomier.  As we got closer Mark asked if I was sure.  I was.  As we crossed the bridge from St. Petersburg to the shore the outgoing traffic was unbelievable.  Mark wondered aloud if they knew something we didn’t.  Were they evacuating?  Maybe we should turn back?  I paused and tuned into my body.  There was no anxiety or fear there.  I told Mark it would be fine, if it wasn’t going to be fine I’d feel it.  We crossed the bridge.  It rained on and off the rest of the day.  The next morning the skies cleared and the weather was beautiful.  We spent the day playing on the beach and in the evening we attended the outdoor wedding that went off without a hitch.  I guess the tropical storm just fizzled out before it reached us and I was extremely grateful that I’ve learned to feel through my body the right way to go.

This past weekend had originally been blocked for us as a Disney World weekend.  The girls were out of school on Friday, the deals were good, and our season passes are always burning a hole in my pocket.  But a few unexpected trips arrived on our calendar as well as a couple that were already planned.  It didn’t feel like the right thing to do.  It was less than a week before when we made the final decision not to go.  My neighbor was going and a couple of my Facebook friends were too.  I’ll admit that I felt super jealous but still felt we made the right decision by not going.  In the end Bella ended up getting really sick on Saturday.  As I write this (on Tuesday) she is still sick.  We wouldn’t have enjoyed Disney World very much and I was glad I’d trusted the way I felt.

Mark has said to me before that when I really want to do something, we do it.  To some extent that’s true, but I’m realizing it is more about the way I feel about doing it.  There are places I’ve wanted to travel to or events I’ve wanted to attend but just haven’t felt the incentive to push forward and make plans.  There have also been times (like a trip I have coming up in November) where something has seemed impossible but so necessary that I will find a way to work it out.  I will let you know how this trip in November goes after all is said and done, but a perfect example of one of these trips was the girls’ weekend I went on with Amy just months before she died.  It took quite a bit of planning and organizing to get that done but it felt right and it most definitely was.

Your body is actually a quite brilliant navigation device if you put it to use.  I know I’m not alone in saying that I feel when things are right or wrong.  One of my goals is to always use those feelings to guide me to just the right places and experiences for me!

Listen Up Kids!

A friend has invited me to help her write an article for a local publication.  The theme is nurturing your children’s spiritual life.  We talked last night about choosing three points to make that would be most valuable in the lives of our kids.  The first thing that popped into my head is the importance of intuition and listening to yourself.

I have a terrible, terrible memory so it may be that I just don’t remember BUT I don’t think I was ever told to listen to myself and the feelings that rise from within me.  I knew to listen to my teachers, my parents, other adults in my life, and even my friends.  It never occurred to me to listen to ME.  In fact, I’d say I was often even afraid to listen to myself.  When I knew the answers to questions in class I was terrified to raise my hand and respond for fear I’d be wrong and look stupid.  I remember times when I went with the pack and joined in on not so nice behavior b/c following others was easier than not.  I’m sure there was a little voice or a tug at my heart reminding me to do no harm, but I ignored that voice until the deed was done.  Then I had to deal with the consequences of either getting in trouble, losing a friend, or feeling guilty.

I believe that teaching our children to stay connected and listen to the voice within is vital to their emotional health.  I caught a few seconds of an Oprah episode yesterday.  It was long enough to hear Oprah speak to this idea.  The show topic must have been sexual abuse.  She said that our kids need to pay attention to those “this doesn’t seem right” feelings and speak up when they have them.  Too many kids stay silent when they are being hurt because somewhere along the line they’ve learned that they should listen to everyone else but themselves.  We are wired with this protective instinct for a reason.  We know when something isn’t right.  Instead of listening to the outside pressure, whether from peers or “trusted” adults, our kids ought to be encouraged to listen to the quiet inner voice or feeling that is saying no, no, no.

So if I had any parenting advice for myself and others I would say to teach our children that they have an inner compass and how best to use it.

Dolls

I have been thinking about this post for five days.  I haven’t sat down to write it because for me it was a huge click, one I’m not sure I can put into words or really explain.  I’m sitting here now, my hands on the keys, sort of hoping it will write itself.

Through the internet I’ve met some great people.  They are people I’d never come face to face with or have the opportunity to get to know otherwise.  One of those people I’ve mentioned before and you met last week through his click story.  I knew the first time I read Opinionated Gift’s blog that he was going to be one of my teachers.  I did not, however, think it would be through his fascination with a TV program.  So I’d like to dedicate this post to him and thank him for my most recent spiritual click that came b/c I watched the first season of his favorite show.

As you know one of the great spiritual teachers that I study, read and feel guided by is Joel S. Goldsmith.  I’ve been reading his books for over a year now and in nearly everyone of them he talks about Reality.  He says that the only thing that is REAL is God.  And God is not some outside force looking down upon us and intervening in our lives on occasion to either punish or reward us.  He tells us God is the moving force in everything, that the very core of our being is God.  We are an extension of God.  We are God in expression.  That is what is real about us.  When our bodies die, that part of our being lives on.  Our very essence is God and God is eternal.

As he delves further into this idea he says that everything else is more or less hypnotism.  It’s real to us only because we believe in it.  We are programed to believe that we are people with bodies and brains and problems to solve.  We have created this illusory life with people who love us and hate us, help us or make our lives more complicated.  But if a bomb dropped on our heads tomorrow all of that would be gone.  But would we be gone?  Some people say yes, if a bomb drops on my head life stops…the end.  But Joel (and me) say no!  In that moment the veil is lifted and we are infinitely aware of the hypnotism we have been released from.  In that moment we see and become the Reality which is Spirit.  It is the very definition of Omnipresent and Omnipotent.

So I’ve been reading this and intellectually buying it for over a year now.  Yet, I had no way of illustrating why I believe it or why it makes sense to me.  That is until I started watching OG’s favorite show, Dollhouse.  In this show there is a large corporations that offers people the opportunity to make lots of money and escape from the pasts that are haunting them.  They sign a contract and the company erases their memories and life.  Once they have signed themselves over and become “actives” they are rented by ultra-wealthy clients to play roles in their lives.  In some instances it is prostitution, in others it is something completely different.  But the clients “order” their perfect “Doll” and the scientist in charge fills the order and programs the person with a whole new identity.  When the “actives” wake up they really believe they are this new person.  In between gigs they are wiped clean and walk around like pleasant zombies not really feeling or expressing anything.

In a lot of ways this is how we are in our lives.  We define who we are by what we tell ourselves and what loved ones and society tells us.  We believe we are stuck in these roles and this is what life is.  The catch is we can change our lives and the fastest way to do that is to connect with what is REAL.  We don’t have to die to understand our eternal nature.  If we are quiet and attentive enough we can hear the small voice and acknowledge the intuitive tugs.  If we stop being so busy and take the time to listen we can be “in this world but not of it.”

Again, Dollhouse has done an excellent job of illustrating another point.  Echo is the main character and is, of course, an “active.”  The difference with Echo is that the hypnotism hasn’t fully worked on her.  The part of her that is REAL sends her flashes of memories and insights.  She uses this information for good in her roles.  She evolves in a way that none of the other “actives” evolve.  She is connected and in touch with her essence.  I haven’t watched the whole series but it seems that she has a big destiny and a crucial role.  Her intuition, soul, or spirit within is leading her down the right path and she is following without truly knowing why.

Our lives on this earth are programs.  I think a lot of it comes with us before we are born.  I like to believe that we are given the opportunity to create the program before we enter.  Once we are born the programming comes from a lot of different places.  Our families, schools, media, laws, history, friends, and governments add to our programming.  None of it is set in stone though.  If we seek the inner voice and quiet the outer voices we may find a destiny that we couldn’t quite imagine.  If we are brave enough to put the programming aside and follow the guidance, even without definitive answers, we may create a better or more positive life experience.

*I haven’t seen season 2 of Dollhouse.  I let another Dollhouse fan and friend read this and although he didn’t give me any clues as to what happens to Echo in season 2, it is possible I am completely wrong about her.  So if you’re reading this and you know that, please no spoilers.  In either case, my interpretation of Echo helped me better understand Joel’s teachings.

Faith

I got back from vacation today and checked my email.  I have a great cyber-friend who challenges me from time to time.  Being the kind and respectful person that he is he never does it in a comment on the blog.  He had read yesterday’s Sunday quote from Notes from the Universe and just didn’t get it.  He expressed that the quote sounded like blind acceptance without any logic behind it.

I read back over that quote and sent an email back to him regarding what it meant to me.  I wanted to talk about it a little more here though.

I titled this post “Faith” because that is basically what it comes down to.  I’d say some people get put off by that word because they equate it with religion.  But the truth is we all have faith in a lot of stuff throughout our days.  We get in our cars to go to work in the mornings and we have faith that they will start and carry us safely to our destinations.  We have faith when we get our paychecks that we will cash them and they won’t bounce.  We have faith that our children will be safe when they are at school.  If we didn’t put our trust and faith in some things outside of ourselves we would probably go insane.  If we applied logic to every step we were about to make and thought intellectually about all the various ways that things could go right or wrong we’d probably be unable to actually take action on anything.

When things are bad we have to believe they’ll eventually get better.  I’d say most suicide cases happen because the person simply can’t step out and trust that their conditions will improve.  Change is inevitable.  Nothing is fixed.  Last week when I found that quote, I was having a particularly insecure day.  I was thinking about losses in the past and worrying they might happen in the future.    I was thinking logically.  Isn’t it logical that if one person I love leaves forever that another one might?  The effect of those thoughts was that by the end of the day I was curled up on my bedroom floor sobbing.  I’d let my monkey mind’s chatter trump my faith.

I do understand why my friend would have a hard time swallowing the whole “forget logic” idea.  For me the quote meant to stop over thinking things.  But I don’t think we should leave behind our common sense and intuition.   I think of my intuition and common sense as the navigation system for my faith (if that makes sense).  I trust that they will guide me and keep me out of trouble.  If someone calls me and offers me a “free” vacation my intuition radar goes off.  There’s no way in Hell I’m getting something for nothing and I’m not willing to sit through a sales pitch. It’s usually then that I use my common sense and hang up the phone.

I’m not going to re-post the quote, but to me it was just about having faith that even though I don’t see exactly how things fit together now that doesn’t mean they don’t fit together.   I do think that I am a “Being of Light” or expression of love.  I might not feel that way every day and especially not when I’m crying on my bedroom floor.  But it gives me peace and comfort to know that I can, have, or will make a positive difference in this world regardless of how small.  Every little bit counts.

Sylvia’s Click

Sylvia is someone I met through the Owning Pink Posse.  She is one of those inspiring souls that strives to bring out the best in others.  She is a writer, yoga teacher, artist, photographer, gardener and “blissed-out” babe!  I am grateful that she answered my call and shared this personal click story, that I know will touch many.  If you would like to hear or read more from Sylvia you can find her wonderful blog about living blissfully here, on Twitter here, and on Facebook here.

My click story starts in January 2001. My husband and I had heard from
my OB/GYN that the test they had done earlier that month showed that a
long treatment for restless cells in my uterus was finally successful.
We could finally work on getting pregnant.

I drove home with some mixed emotions. A little more than two years
earlier I started on a hormone treatment, and immediately got plunged
into a major depression, and gained about 30 kilo’s in weight in the
months that followed after.

So there I sat, deeply depressed, feeling utterly lost, and with a
moon cycle that was completely out of whack and very painful. A uterus
that was so cramped up I could hardly sit up straight and walking
around became more and more difficult. And my doctor told me that I
could get pregnant.

Two months later I was rushed to the hospital with what could be an
appendicitis. After a day of waiting for the two hour emergency
surgery, it turned out to be an ovary with a really bad cyst.

That surgery and the recovery from it was my click. It came in the
form of one single thought: is getting pregnant worth this suffering?
It didn’t take me long to say no. I felt like a crippled person, stuck
in 9 days out of 24 periods, and the rest of the time I seemed like I
was stuck in an endless seeming PMS cycle. I didn’t get pregnant, as
my wish to have sex had completely diminished. I felt a bloated up
mockery of who I really was.

Soon after what was the second surgery of the year I sat in the OB/GYN
office again for a routine checkup, still not pregnant, and even more
worn out than I was back in January, and I burst out in tears. I said
with a trembling voice I could no longer live like this, and that I
was ready to give up the dream of becoming a mother. It got replaced
by a much stronger dream, a will to survive, and to truly get to live
my life.

The doctors discussed my request, and it got granted. In June of that
year I went into surgery again, it turned out my ovaries could stay
but my uterus was removed. The uterus was tested, and the OB/GYN told
me that the cells were back to their restless state, and if I had
gotten pregnant, I would have had a baby and full blown cancer. The
moment he told me my decision was the right one, it felt like victory.

It has taken me a couple of very tumultuous years, stumbling, falling,
getting up again, to finally get to where I am today. I had a hard
time accepting the fact I no longer had a uterus, and struggled hard
with femininity issues, but I climbed out of it, and became the
strong, independent woman I am today.

I have no doubt that the journey I went through was one of saying
goodbye to my old self, to the dreams of that woman I used to be.

What I did gain though, was finding my passion. I had been a writer
ever since my early childhood, but lacked the confidence to do
anything with it. I found that strength again in the depth of my
depression, and for that I am forever grateful.

Heavenly Helpers

I read a lot of books that can only be described as “woo-woo.”  Some of my favorite authors are also psychics.  A recurring theme in these books, written by folks who let their intuition and sixth sense guide them, is their knowledge and work with heavenly helpers.  If you read a book like “Ask Your Guides” by Sonia Choquette you will find a list of spiritual helpers awaiting your requests.  There are angels and spirit guides.  Certain guides will help you find your lost keys or get you a good parking spot.  There are healing guides that will help you recover from sickness or emotional trauma.  There are angels and guides that are connected just to you and by your side at all times throughout your life.  The loved ones that have transitioned from this life to the next are also out there in spirit, shining light on us if needed. You can read a number of books and end up with a list about a mile long of all the entities available and willing to help you.

At various times in the past few years, I have worked to strengthen my intuition and tap into the heavenly resources.  I’m not really interested in talking to spirits or seeing the future.  My goal is to simply be connected and awake enough not to miss the signs that are there pointing me in the right direction.  If I can manage the little things more smoothly than the big things become attainable because I am actually aware enough to identify them.  I have found that if I’m around the house and looking for a lost object if I simply say aloud “Where is that ___?”, it will suddenly pop up.  When I first discovered this trick I would start the questions by first saying “Angels.”  One day we were looking for the remote and I asked the angels to help us find it.  Suddenly Callee stopped, laid on her stomach, reached under the chair, and pulled out the clicker.  I responded with a “Thank you, Angels.”  Bella quickly corrected me and said “Callee found the remote, not the Angels.”

Many times when I am meditating I feel that I am not alone.  I have often felt a presence beside me or in front of me.  If I ask a question while meditating the answer often arrives in my consciousness.  Once I even put in a request to meet an old friend in a dream, in order to make peace and ask for long overdue forgiveness.  Sure enough that night, I dreamed about the friend.  We expressed our love, exchanged a hug, and I woke up feeling lighter.

Unless you are a brand new reader to this blog, you know that one of my best friends, Amy, passed away in October.  Recently something concerning Amy was weighing on my mind.  I just kept asking her how she wanted me to feel.  For two days I felt her presence.  I can’t really describe it (other than the chills I got while talking with her mom on the phone) but I just knew she was with me.  I kept getting message after message that everything was OK and exactly as she would want it to be.  By the end of the two days this undeniable, unwavering peace had washed over me.  I knew and know that everything is just as it should be.

One thing I have learned over the last few years is that we are all capable of fine tuning our intuition and realizing our own “psychic” abilities.  We all have them, we just don’t all choose to use them.  For me, I’m still probably more of a skeptic than I am a psychic.  I don’t believe everything that I read by some of my favorite authors.  At times the ego gets crossed with those heavenly messages and you have to stop and ponder a bit.  My favorite spiritual teacher, Joel S. Goldsmith doesn’t even encourage a focus on psychic abilities.  He believes that it all comes from God anyway, so if you contemplate and meditate on God you will receive everything you need for this journey.  But he also recognizes that you can commune with any spiritual teacher you’d like whether living or dead.

Below I will list some of my favorite authors.  If anyone is reading this and interested in learning more about Angels and Spirit Guides, I would recommend them.

Sonia Choquette

Sylvia Browne

Doreen Virtue PhD

John Edward

Allison DuBois

James Van Praagh