According to You…

This morning my inner critic came knocking.  Usually I send her quickly to the corner and replace her scathing remarks with loving affirmations.  Today, I said “Screw it!” and just let her talk.  Let me tell you she was relentless.  I was at the gym when she started in on me and in the middle of her rant the song “According to You” came on the radio.  She preceded to steal some of the lyrics and spew them at me too.

Of course I couldn’t help myself and took some of the song and looked at it as a metaphorical example of my inward battle.  The YOU in the song could be that little me, big ego, and inner critic that likes to keep me locked in fear and self-doubt.  The HIM in the song could be the divinity within me reminding me that I am loved, perfect, and always welcome into his embrace.  It’s up to me to choose who I give my power to.

Here’s the song by Orianthi.  It is really just a song about two guys, but for me this morning it was a lot more.  Oh, and this woman is pretty badass…talk about girl power!

Dierks Bentley

Here are the lyrics to a song I heard at church last Sunday.  It is a very moving song called “Beautiful World.”

All the noise and the voices are screamin’
What they have to say
And the headlines and sound bytes are givin’ me
Demons to hate
And the man on TV
He tells me it’s ugly
But if you ask me

It’s a beautiful world
It’s a beautiful world

There’s tears and there’s fears and there’s losses and crosses to bear
And sometimes the best we can do is just to whisper a prayer
And press on because
There’s so much to live for and so much to love

In this beautiful world
Say what you will but I still believe
It’s a beautiful world
It’s a beautiful world

And I know (I know)
I’m not dreamin’
I just choose (choose) to believe it

So I hate that I sometimes miss what’s right in front of my eyes, oh
And I know at the end of my road I’ll be wantin’ more time
Just another sunset
One more kiss from my baby
A smile from a friend

In this beatiful world
It’s a beautiful world
Yeah, it’s a beautiful world

Say what you will, but I still believe
It’s a beautiful world
Yeah, it’s a beautiful world
Oh, it’s a beautiful world

A Love Song

So here I am late at night, well it’s 10:30 -late for me.  This is the first time I’ve let the blog get this close to the wire without having something prepared for 7am post time.  A lot of things have been on my mind today, but I’ve also had a very busy day.  At writing group tonight I was asked why I blog.  “Why do you put yourself through it?”  Someone asked.  I didn’t have a good answer to give in the moment.  We went on to talk about privacy and the importance of it.  I have been known to spew my stuff to whoever’s closest.  I have also tried to be more private and be discerning of who is trustworthy.  I try to abstain from complaining as much as possible.  But for whatever reason I have chosen to come here and let my stuff hang out.   When I read non-fiction I connect with the authors.  I have  written emails to those writers who have inspired me and introduced me to a new perspective.  Maybe that’s what I’m trying to do here.   I think I will continue doing it because I love it and  (like I read in Bridget Asher’s blog) the positive feedback feels good.  One person saying they are inspired by what they read here is worth far more than 10 people saying I suck (or whatever else).  I am rethinking the way I present my blog.  I no longer plan to post on Facebook for those of you who arrive here via that.  I have decided that if someone is meant to find me, they will.  I’m not going to hang the sign out any longer.

Now to get to the reason this post is titled “A Love Song.”  When I woke up this morning I checked Twitter and there was a re-tweet from @heavywhisper that posted a song and said something about taking away their man card for liking the song.  Well of course it sparked my curiousity and I had to listen.  I remember the song, but never really listened to it.  The lyrics are beautiful and you could even interpret it as a love song to God or at least in honor of God.  So I wanted to post it here because it touched my soul.

Bob Marley

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!” —–Bob Marley

And here are the lyrics to one of my favorite Bob Marley songs:  Forever Loving Jah

We’ll be forever loving Jah
We’ll be forever loving Jah

Some they say see them walking up the street
They say we are going wrong to all the people we meet
But we won’t worry, we won’t shed no tears
We found a way to cast away the fears
Forever Yeah!

We’ll be forever loving Jah
We’ll be forever
We’ll be forever loving Jah
Forever yes and forever
We’ll be forever loving Jah, there’ll be no end

So old man river don’t dry for me
I have got a running stream of love you see
So no matter what stages, oh stages, stages
Stages they put us thru we’ll never be blue
No matter what rages, oh rages, changes.
Rages they put us thru, we’ll never be blue
We’ll be forever yeah!

We’ll be forever loving Jah
We’ll be forever
We’ll be forever loving Jah
Forever and ever and forever
Cause there is no end

Cause only a fool lean up on, lean upon
His own misunderstanding
And what has been hidden from the wise and the prudent,
Been revealed to the babe and the suckling
In every thing, in every way I say

We’ll be forever loving Jah
We’ll be forever
We’ll be forever loving Jah

Cause just like a tree planted planted by the river of water
That bringeth forth bringeth forth, fruits in due season
Every thing in life got its purpose
Find its reason in every season, forever Yeah!

We’ll be forever loving Jah
We’ll be forever
We’ll be forever loving Jah
On and on and on
We’ll be forever loving Jah

New Day

So there is a song that the instructor always plays in the class I take at the gym.  I like the song, but it always gets me thinking.  It reminds me of the past.   So today the song comes on and I think oh no, I really don’t want to hear this today, I’m done with that. Almost as if she could read my mind, the instructor walks over and says “That’s not the right song, today is a NEW DAY.”  Then she played that Celine Dion song.  I got chills all over and almost started to cry. It is a new day!

I’m coming out of the funk.  I’ve written some stuff down and emailed it to some very safe people.  It will take a lot more courage than I have right now for me to post it on this blog.  But I got it out and I feel better.  I go back to North Carolina next week to spend a few days with some wonderful friends.  I hope to see a little of my family too. (Hint Hint)  My friend is pregnant with twin boys and we are throwing her a baby shower.  A while back she sent me (and my 2 other friends) a wonderful email illustrating how much we have all accomplished.  She pointed out our successes in education, relationships, parenthood, and careers.  It meant so much to read.  I was grateful for our success and for her optimistic encouragement.

Everyday we are accomplishing something new.  Each tiny step we take is leading us to our next great success.  The journey may not be easy, and the steps my seem useless at times, but when we get to where we are going we should be able to look back lovingly at the completed puzzle.  The pieces fit, all of them.  They make us who we are and allow us to embark on another new day.

Here’s  a song I found on youtube, since I really didn’t want to post the Celine Dion song.  This was actually the first time I’d ever heard this one…but it fit perfectly for this blog.

Before and After

OK, in honor of Labor Day, I’m going to take a break from writing, but not from posting.  I was at the gym listening to my Ipod when I came up with this post.  You see these two songs are back to back on my playlist.  They both inspire me, jumpstart me a bit.  I seem stronger and have more endurance when I listen to them.  Today it suddenly occurred to me that these songs are like the “Before” and “After” when you connect to that life inside of you.  The first song might describe how one feels when they are living without knowing the power that is within them.  I think it illustrates to a tee the final moment of a “dark night of the soul,” when one finally reaches the breaking point and realizes there must be more.  The second song is the result of that realization!

Before:

After:

Wild and Unruly

My very favorite Dixie Chicks song is “Cowboy, Take Me Away.”  I used to think it was about a real cowboy and I’d imagine what he looked like as he swooped in on his white horse and carried Natalie away to some field where they’d lay holding hands among the blue bonnets.  Then one day I was listening with new ears and suddenly chills went up and down my arms as I realized that they aren’t singing about some ordinary cowboy, they’re singing about God.  Once I realized that the song became even more beautiful.

My very favorite verse is:

“I said wanna touch the earth.  I wanna break it in my hands.  I wanna grow something wild and unruly.”

I’m pretty sure that one of the ways God connects with us is by giving us seeds.  Those seeds might come through watching a TV show or movie, reading a book, conversing with a friend, hearing the still small voice within during a quiet moment, or they spring forth like a phoenix rising from the ashes after a tragedy.  These seeds are inspired ideas that make us feel ALIVE.  They are the ideas that make you think this is it…this could change everything.  Once we get the seeds it is up to us to plant them.  I think when we decide to plant the seeds we must be fearless because there is a pretty good chance we will grow something wild and unruly.  But if we look at our history, at the people and ideas that had the most positive impact on our society, we will see that so much of it was (at times) wild and unruly.  I think God works like that.  It’s about having the faith and courage to stick with it and see it through to the end.  It’s not as easy as growing a garden.  With a garden, you buy the seeds and the package (or salesman) provides you with the answers at the time of purchase.  You know what will grow and how long it will take.  When God gives you seeds there are no immediate answers, the planting is a leap of faith.  But if you take that leap, no matter how wild and unruly it seems to be, you will end up closer to heaven and closer to him!