Relationships Before…

Last night I had a dream about an old and dear friend.  We were two peas in a pod for a lot of years.  Early in our friendship she was there for me when no one else was.  Whatever came our way, whatever separated us-whether boys or miles-we were committed to one another.  So last night I dreamed I traveled to visit her and when I arrived she looked at me as though I was dead to her.  Life and relationships present their ebbs and flows and I think it’s safe to say she and I have been experiencing an ebb for some time now.  I miss her so much.  I miss what we were before we became grown ups…before religion and politics reared their ugly heads.

That’s what the ebb is all about you see.  When you are kids no one talks about the democrats and republicans or what the bible has to say about homosexuality.  When you’re young you share your hopes and dreams, which are always the same.  You cheer each other on in the search for love and success.  You provide shoulders to cry on when the world breaks your hearts.  Most of all you laugh…and laugh…and laugh.

When you’re young you can philosophize and dream together without judgment.  I know I had questions as a teen.  I know religion didn’t sit well with me.  I know that I cared about who was president and what the big issues were.  Yet, I don’t remember losing or gaining any friends because of that.

As an adult I’ve found that my political and spiritual beliefs are core to who I am, or at least to the me that reflects out into the world.  And I’ve also found that my beliefs don’t mesh with those of friends that I so freely shared my desires and dreams with as a teen and young adult.  In ways I could blame Facebook because it has given us a platform to announce our true values and let’s us hide behind the computer screen and not see the reactions of our friends.  And for me I have this blog, a place where I write about stuff that I don’t typically share in conversation.

Sometimes I think that my honesty about politics and religion has significantly altered some of my relationships.  I feel certain that some think I have changed or abandoned some beliefs I had at one time.  The truth is I can go pull out my journal from high school creative writing class and find entries about my support for gays in the military, the right to choose for women, and policies that support public schools.  I can also find poems and essays on the hypocrisy I witnessed in the religious people around me.  I actually haven’t changed that much at all, it just may be that Coach Walker (my creative writing teacher) was the only one who really knew me back then or maybe as teens we were smart enough to realize we all just wanted the same things.

5 thoughts on “Relationships Before…

  1. Dave Moulton June 13, 2011 / 2:59 pm

    I find defending one’s point of view is a total waste of time and energy. You seldom change the other’s view and even if you do there are no prizes.
    Who I vote for and my spiritual beliefs are my own business, I don’t divulge them to others. Life is simpler that way, with far less conflicts.

    • lesleehorner June 13, 2011 / 6:47 pm

      Dave, I definitely get you on trying to defend your point of view or change others’ minds. I just like to be able to talk about these issues and sometimes it sends people for the hills. Currently my father and I have reached a point that if we dared speak about politics to one another it could get very, very ugly. For that reason, both of us are smart enough to avoid the subject-which is also why I haven’t added him on my FB page b/c I share too many liberal leaning articles on that page and I don’t want to raise his blood pressure.

  2. Norma June 13, 2011 / 5:08 pm

    I think this is a process many of us experience and in todays world of high tech. communication it has changed its form. I have lived many years across the ocean and have experienced a steady decline of reaching out by certain family member s and the only explanation I have is that they disagree with my political and/or religious stand on many issues. The interesting thing I find is that we all come from the same nest! In America I find people very black and white in their judgment of others. Why can’t we all just agree to disagree and get on with our day?. Sometimes I also believe that it is pure brain chemistry that leads us to our thoughts,beliefs and convictions. Hopefully you know who your true friends are no matter who they vote for

    • lesleehorner June 13, 2011 / 6:54 pm

      Norma, thanks so much for reading and commenting! There is up and down sides to the social media and communication technology we now have. Some of us are finally talking openly about issues we have passion for and that we aren’t brave enough to speak about. That’s a good thing even if it brings uncertain consequences. The bad thing(s) are the spread of misinformation and people just being downright mean because they don’t have to be face to face with anyone to feel/see the affects of their words. But behind it all, no matter political or spiritual beliefs, I think we all just want to be loved and feel safe.

      Also on the brain chemistry thing. I recently read some of “My Stroke of Insight” and it is very interesting to learn about the different sides of the brain and what they are in charge of.

  3. ThePioneer June 16, 2011 / 10:02 am

    The year I was seven, I kissed the girl and wanted to spend the rest of my life with and threw my Bible on the floor because since no one followed it anyway, I didn’t see the point in it. We can change the script, not the actor.

    As to polics being devisive…Titus 3:8-9 (The Message, my favorite translation)

    “I want you to put your foot down. Take a firm stand on these matters so that those who have put their trust in God will concentrate on the essentials that are good for everyone. Stay away from mindless, pointless quarreling over genealogies and fine print in the law code. That gets you nowhere. “

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