Intuition and Adventure

Lately I’ve been in a weird place, it’s new and quite frankly it’s a bit dark.  After many years of reading many metaphysical books, I can’t help but think (and hope) this means something.  Like perhaps I’m on that edge and the break-through is pending.

I feel like I need a teacher right now, in the form of a book or a person, something to show me exactly where to go.  I’ve picked up several books.  There’s Jesus of course, or Goldsmith, Tolle or Choquette, The Hicks or Wayne Dyer, Julia Cameron or Caroline Myss.  I could also try someone new like Byron Katie or Pema Chodren.  But every time I stare at a book shelf, whether in my home or a store, my inner voice says no.  Just today at the Goodwill book store I silently asked to be led to a book, one perfect for where I am right now.  I walked out with a Sarah Dessen novel.

As I sat in meditation, I thought about how I currently feel so off the path.  It occurred to me, though, that the truest path is the one that comes from within.  I realized that maybe I can’t find the perfect teacher or reading material right now because I need to let my higher self be my guide.

But even after all of that, when I got up from meditation, I still wanted a glint of something from an outside force, so I went looking under the bed for my angel cards.  Instead of the cards I found the astrological reading that Jennifer Shelton did for me last summer.  I read until I got to North Node (life purpose) and tears begin to fall.  It said “Reliance on intuition, developing a sense of freedom and adventure.”

I realized that lately everything I’ve been feeling is a push against that.  I’ve been wanting someone or something else to provide me with answers, instead of trusting my own.  I’ve been wanting guarantees that everything will work out and go smoothly instead of just being free and adventurous.  So maybe I am at that edge.  Maybe I’m at the tipping point almost ready to put the wheels down into my life’s purpose.

It sure would be nice…

 

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4 thoughts on “Intuition and Adventure

  1. E. Sheppard June 6, 2011 / 9:42 pm

    This sounds so familiar! I have had the same messages that tell me to trust my own intuition and that “still, small voice” inside me. I tend to go with my head over my heart and refuse to take that creative leap. So maybe we will do this together. To get more insights, sometimes I go to the free site Mystic Games, which offers free card readings. Maybe you would like this site too.

    Keep us posted about your newest adventure. 🙂 I am rooting for you.

    • lesleehorner June 7, 2011 / 10:24 am

      Thanks E! It really is about the inner teacher and I’m glad it struck a chord with you!

  2. Peggie June 7, 2011 / 10:08 am

    I don’t know you — but I feel like I do. In 2005 I was EXACTLY where you are — if you had used the phrase “plodding through the primordial ooze” I’d have fallen on the floor – since that’s the phrase I used at the time.

    Anyway, I remember saying to my fellow students in the hand analysis certification program I was in “I just feel like I’m waiting for the teacher — I’m ready, I want a teacher” and they responded….

    “What if YOU are your teacher…”

    Yeah.

    It was fabulous and sucky at the same time. I’m glad to tell you that 6 years later (don’t think about that like it’s SOOO Long from where you are though, it’s not) I am my best teacher (or my inner guidance) and when I need guidance on a specific thing or need to learn to do something – the right guide always shows up.

    You’re on the road and it can be very joyful! You are going to make such a difference in people’s lives – because as you go through you can have the opportunity to come back and let them know that they are on the right track — in fact you can show them! (you see — you ARE the teacher)

    🙂

    • lesleehorner June 7, 2011 / 10:23 am

      Thank you so much Peggie! This is such great validation to get right before I’m unplugging and getting away from all the books, computers, and teachers for a few days.

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