Retreat on the Horizon?

My husband has taken three work trips in the past four weeks.  He’s only technically been away from us for 8 nights but it’s been more stressful for me because I’ve had to worry three separate times that he makes it to and from his destination safely.  As my mother always told me (and you guys might have figured out lately), I’m a worrier.

The single parent duties have been hard too.  Even though the schedule doesn’t change that much with Mark gone, the energy does.  I realize when he’s away just how much he grounds me, how much value he adds to my life, how much I need him.

With all that being said, I feel like one of those women in the old Calgon commercials.  “Calgon, take me away!”  Only thing is, I don’t have a giant bathtub or any Calgon, so I’m thinking of another option.  The goddess retreat is just around the corner.  I wasn’t planning on going this year, but suddenly the opportunity has presented itself and I’m trying to decide what to do.

As I do, I’ve been weighing the pros and cons in my head and asking for signs to stay or go.  I’ve come up with a long list of pros and only one huge con-guilt.  Guilt for spending the money and guilt for leaving the fam after we’ve been separated already so much this month.  But I also know that it’s going to be a long summer and the girls are going to have an abundance of time with me so it’ll be good for them to get time with Daddy and a break from me.  It’ll be good for me to recharge and center myself in preparation for the huge shift in our schedule.

As for signs, I very nonchalantly asked for a dream that would answer the question of whether or not I should attend the retreat.  Sure enough, I dreamed I was there at Amrit with a group of women.  I also had a second dream that I saw an old college friend and found out she was the mother of 6 kids.  In the dream she was exhausted and frustrated.  Maybe that was another sign of some kind…a peek into what I might feel like if I don’t step back and recharge.

But the most important aspect of this retreat is that it will allow me to go to a sacred place and focus on my relationship with the Divine.  Later on today, after I brush the last particles of guilt off myself, I’m hoping to officially sign up.

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7 thoughts on “Retreat on the Horizon?

  1. ray May 6, 2011 / 11:09 am

    Go for it. You will be glad you did!

  2. Beth Ann May 7, 2011 / 9:40 am

    You definitely need to take some time for yourself. It is not selfish at all to want to do this ! You AND your family will benefit so go for it!!! And let us know how it all turns out!!

    • lesleehorner May 8, 2011 / 3:48 pm

      I’m going on the retreat…leaving Thurs. and looking forward to it. Thanks!

  3. ThePioneer May 8, 2011 / 12:25 am

    I present you with my favorite compliment:
    I think you’re neat.
    For me searching for answers in dreams was such a dark place in my life, and it isn’t something I would want to go back to, but for you it is so healthy and cool.

    • lesleehorner May 8, 2011 / 3:50 pm

      Aww shucks! Thanks for calling me neat!

      I’m glad you are back reading and blogging! And yeah, sometimes the whole “answers from dreams” thing seems to work for me. This one was the most obvious example. Looking forward to my retreat now!

  4. Rob May 9, 2011 / 1:55 pm

    Go. If your spiritual life isn’t good, nothing else will be either.

    p.s. Take Ray with you :~)

    • lesleehorner May 9, 2011 / 2:16 pm

      Ray would love spending 4 days surrounded by “goddesses”, but unfortunately for him it’s a women only retreat!

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