Are You There God? It’s me, Angry!

Alright, so lately I’ve been really really angry about everything going on in American politics.  I decided to be vocal about it and now I can’t seem to shut up.  I’m pretty sure there are people on my Facebook list ready to unfriend me at any moment.  But I am just soooo pissed!  I used to be a school teacher and am the daughter of a retired postal worker.  My children learn through school, community, and TV shows that teachers, firefighters, and policemen are valuable assets and noble positions to aspire to.  The people holding these positions are under attack and they aren’t even asking for more…just to maintain what they already have.

But all of that aside, I’m just consumed by anger right now.  I’ve spent four years of my life learning about the real nature of God.  I’ve returned to reading Joel S. Goldsmith because I really need something to pull me out of this madness.  He talks a lot about how if you are in communion with God then everything falls into place.  If you trust, God will provide.  He says that you should give and give some more because that is the bread you throw out onto the waters and it will return to you for sure.  I read this and I try to believe it.  I try to remind myself that what I think is reality is just an illusion.  God is everywhere and in everything.  BUT, reading this and saying this is not healing my anger.  It is not making me stop worrying and hurting for the people who are facing pay cuts that may create a situation in which they can no longer stay in their homes.  It doesn’t keep me from wondering what kind of education my daughters will get in public schools if the classes are too big with teachers even more stressed out about money.   It is not making me stop wanting to scream at these GOP governor’s who think the answer to their budget crisis is to lay off and give pay cuts to government workers while providing tax cuts and other incentives to big corporations.

In the spiritual world I just have to wonder what this means.  There is one side that I’m sure would argue that I should let go of my anger and forgive these politicians.  There is another side who would say I should feel my anger and communicate those feelings.  And where does apathy play in all of this?  If I say well I’m not a teacher in Columbus, Ohio anymore so this just isn’t my stuff, isn’t that basically the same as posting an anti-union slogan on my FB wall?  Or is my own personal peace of mind really more important than getting the word out about the disservice being done to the people we rely on so much in our community?

I really feel like I’m in the midst of a real spiritual conundrum.  I don’t know what the right thing to do and feel is.  I don’t know how to stop being mad.  I don’t know how to use the anger in a productive way.  So for my friends and readers who are further along on the spiritual path…please tell me what you think.


13 thoughts on “Are You There God? It’s me, Angry!

  1. jackmcclane March 4, 2011 / 8:46 pm

    I feel your frustration, Leslee and I am in Australia where we are having the exact same issues with our government.

    Last week I was disillusioned at our Prime Minister that I wrote an open letter to her which I published as well.

    Something has to happen!

    Can I suggest you contact your congressmen/congresswomen, write letters to the editors etc but most importantly don’t be quiet on the issue.

    Sure we may not be the middle east and have violent protests which over throw governments but we have something which is much stronger. Our voices and freedom of speech. Use it.

    Politics and religion don’t mix so there is no point trying to. It’s like oil and water. They’ll never combine. I’m not a religious person but my advice is to not rely on God to assist with these issues. Sometimes you gotta do it all by yourself.

    Good luck!


  2. Jennifer March 4, 2011 / 9:22 pm

    Not further along…but being familiar with your astro chart, you are wired to serve the community, to fight for causes but at the root of it all is your intuition. Any action must be fed by that. Your particular brand of intuition is nourished by alone time in nature. Or, time alone with animals. Soothing environments that will provide some ease to the thoughts churning in your mind. You feel the need to take action, and that’s exactly what you’re wired to do! But, get centered first – not in other people’s teachings and thoughts – but in your own. You have guides and angels around you – ask them for advice – and listen to your heart. It will be your best guide.

  3. John Ballantrae March 4, 2011 / 10:40 pm

    Remember The Lovers card? You can allow human anger and confusion to enter and pollute your mind and thoughts. Or you can radiate peace and love and be an example – someone not twisted out of shape by fear – for your children and others. You get to choose which path to follow.

  4. Kiva March 4, 2011 / 11:31 pm

    Speak and help where you can – within the community especially. And continue to do a wonderful job of raising your babies.

  5. -H- March 5, 2011 / 1:45 am

    Probably not further along than you spiritually, but older and maybe feeling a little more understanding of the grand plan. I don’t know why the world is in such a mess in our day – why we have such a lousy President, in my opinion, nor why our country, as many other countries is falling into poverty and pain. And, why our earth is burdened with so much brutality and hate is unknown to me. I am angry with the President of this great land hurting us so much – turning our values into garbage, by appologizing so often for the values we hold so dear. I am angry that the President of this great land seems to dynify the actions of many filled with hate toward our country. My own opinion is that he is working to bring us to our knees and ignite the fire for each of us to turn against one another. He is keeping us struggling to survive so we fail to realize what is about to enter our world in reality – the raw world of the hateful and brutal enemies. We are being led into a dark hole by concentrating on surviving this day and forgetting about the tomorrows of our children.
    Where is God – he’s there! But, he is so much bigger than we are. We are incapable of understanding his plan or the reasons why. He sees, He understands, He does not cause it, but allows it. We can not begin to understand Him or his great purpose of allowing us to find our own way. He doesn’t make the evils – but he does allow them. He gives us a chance to make choices – to carry a piece of him, deep inside our being to tell us what is right. All the things you speak of are small in comparison to the purpose of life. To us, they are everything because we have no true possitive understanding of the purpose for our being here. God gave us free will. He didn’t promise to make our life perfect. We can pray for that and he hears us – some times he might choose to soften our world. But, being such a small piece of God, we just cannot understand what his meaning of PURPOSE is. We will be angry. I am angry – you are! Maybe He wants that, maybe He just allows it. I guess what he wants to see is what we do about it.
    In regard to the teachers… I would like to see the union done away with as far as the power they hold. Teachers should be judged not on time in the classroom, nor years , but quality of effort and success. Teachers should be paid according to their successes, just as public workers should. Give to those who succeed – to those who make a difference. Make room for the good worker by letting go of the bad worker just as it is done in the business world. I too have a daughter who taught in Columbus, Ohio. She now, has her own children in the school and realizes that some teachers make a great and lasting impact on students while others loose their way and deliver little impact into a childs mind or character. Pay well to those who get who do make a difference. Right now, it is not God who should be causing your spirituality to waver, but the politics, selfishness, and lack of carring surrounding our government and so many of our people. How often do you see someone give their time to another. How often do you see a smile, a door being held, or politeness given. We have become a selfish people. We need to learn to care. We need to understand what is at stake with our success in making an impact in our world. How have we brought about change in anothers life? What have we done to be a better person for those around us? We are all children of God and deserve to be treated as such by one another. Look first to the values that surround your politicians, then to it’s people. God will never leave us – he gave what none of us would consider doing – his son! He did this for us – he hasn’t failed you or me, but allowed us to success or fail in making a better world one step at a time – one smile at a time – one prayer at a time. Have faith – turn your anger over to actions to make changes in your world. We need to stand up and be heard and back our beliefs up with the giving our time and our love to the world. We are here but for a very short time. Make it count. Don’t question God, but question those responsible around you including yourself and myself. Bring change about by your example and your courage – God will walk with you – He is already there – shut your eyes and feel his breeze, look at the sky to find his presence, hold a baby to know his power, watch a storm to understand the world, watch the sun come up and embrace a new day God blessed you with. God is there. Look to the eyes of a child you love – God is there! Remember the prize….

    • lesleehorner March 5, 2011 / 11:27 am

      Thank you H for your comment.

      I know there are flaws in the union system but at the core of it is the idea that we should protect our workers, keep them safe, and give them what they deserve. The idea of merit pay for teachers make sense as long as the job description stays constant. I’m not sure if your daughter taught in the CPS district or in one of the suburbs, but if she taught in CPS I bow to her because that is a TOUGH place to work. My co-teacher had been at the same school for 20 years. When she started it was a neighborhood school in a middle to upper-middle class neighborhood. By the time she had reached that 20 year mark it was a school that had 90% free lunch kids. Most of the kids in my class got their bookbags and winter coats from a local charity in Columbus. Literally they all had the same items b/c they were poor enough to qualify to get them free. But back to my 20 year experience co-teacher. For her, it may have appeared that her effectiveness as a teacher was declining (I don’t know for a fact it did decline, but am assuming it did) when in actuality she was just teaching an entirely different population of kids in her 20th year as she had in her 5th year. Her skills as a teacher DID NOT decline. She was always doing the best with what she had to work with. So if you get rid of unions and tenure type programs, you must be willing to take into account the change in population of kids in the classroom before you start firing or demoting teachers for being “ineffective.”

  6. -H- March 5, 2011 / 3:30 pm

    She taught in New Albany School System and you are right. Those who teach in schools with low moral or low parent participation deserve to be paid in excess of others in schools where the level of the child and parent is entirely different. Somehow though, we have to find a way to reward the caring effective teacher and the teacher who has been teaching forever and really doesn’t care anymore about anything but tenure. Quality, rather in poor difficult areas or wealthy areas needs to be controled better if our children are to stay up there with the sciences and math levels we need to stay strong. But, I do not find signs and shouting and and demanding the way – it needs to be negotiated WITHIN REASON. This is a bad economy to make strong demand by unions as many people are willing to pick up the jobs and take less pay or retirement. We all want the most we can get, but we all need to think in terms of today – not the days past.
    Of course there are always circumstances that make a difference and need to be taken into account. Thanks for listening….

  7. Kasey March 6, 2011 / 10:37 pm

    Hi Leslee –
    I enjoyed reading this particular post; I am sorry that you are so angry but, do understand fully why. We are called to be lights in this world. When you encourage, you will be encouraged. My message to you is simple: To truly find peace in the midst of this strife, look to God’s own Word, the Bible. I would encourage you to read Ephesians, Timothy, Thessalonians, etc. Instead of looking to man-written books for guidance about what God thinks or his Word says…look to God’s book for yourself. There is so much joy, peace and hope there…then…you can share that with others…and so on…and so on. I love ya girl…(((HUGS)))

  8. Kasey March 6, 2011 / 10:39 pm

    p.s. God’s Word is “living”…that is why it can encourage and give so much more hope than man-written words (even though there are alot of good man-written books)…hope this makes sense.

  9. Rob March 8, 2011 / 8:38 pm

    Dear Leslee,
    You’re not going to be able to see ANYTHING clearly, let alone how spirituality fits into all of this, until you do some ’emotional first aid.’ As Tolle would put it, your ‘pain body’ is currently in charge of YOU. I would HIGHLY recommend that you practice the EFT technique (tapping), literally every hour on the hour, until you begin to feel some peace around these issues. If you can, set up some kind of hourly reminder (on your phone?) to remind you, as you will most likely otherwise forget. As you tap, be aware of what ‘comes up’ in your awareness as that will be a clue as to other issues to tap on. Let me know if you need any help with this.
    Peace, R

    • lesleehorner March 8, 2011 / 9:01 pm

      Rob-thanks for commenting! I was hoping you’d lend your wisdom on this one. As for the tapping, you know how resistant I am to that so I may need a “refresher” course. Over all though I’ll say I’ve been feeling more at peace around this stuff lately. I even got tested a bit yesterday and reacted with A LOT less anger.

  10. Rob March 8, 2011 / 10:50 pm

    Hi again! Your ‘resistance to tapping’ is actually the FIRST thing you need to tap on (seriously). It (the resistance) just shows how powerful our dysfunctional egoic selves can be when they are threatened by anything (such as tapping) that will reduce their hold on us (“us” being our Higher Selves, the ‘real,’ immortal part of us that, in your case, had been overshadowed recently by your anger). But the d.e.s. can be VERY tricky – it tends to recede just when the pain you were feeling got strong enough where you MIGHT have been willing to do something about it (e.g., tap). So, unless you KNOW that ‘this stuff’ won’t ever cause you any more, shall we say, angst, then tapping or something similar is STILL necessary unless you are OK with going through a recurring cycle of ‘pain body’ crises (and I don’t think you are OK with that).
    p.s. I’m teaching a meditation course the weekend of March 19/20 I’d be glad to go over the tapping points with you either before or after the course (the usual times). Before then, check out tapping dot com, I’ve heard there are some good videos about tapping on that site (not been there myself).

    • lesleehorner March 9, 2011 / 8:19 am

      I have a writing conference that weekend, but I might be able to stop by at the end on Sunday…I’ll chat with you about it at church Sunday!

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