So lately the focus of my writing has been on fiction.  Right now, I’m sitting in Border’s breaking one of my rules.  (I’m using their internet connection and writing a blog post.)  Of course I’m allowing myself this discretion because I just cranked out 2000 words and a new chapter in the novel.  I’m up to 40,000 words now.

I want to be a fiction writer.  I mean, I’m not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do as I’m utterly confused with that whole life purpose business, but it is what I feel like doing now.  I used to have an endless supply of personal essays and blog post ideas running through my head and now I’ve got nothing.  Frankly I’m getting a little embarrassed by what I’m publishing here on Waiting for the Click.  How many different ways can I write about not being able to write.

But I AM writing.  I’m writing about this interesting 15 year old girl, her slightly messed up parents, and her very sweet friend across the street.  I’m writing about reincarnation and history all swept into one elaborate piece.

Through fiction I can put myself out into the world without really putting myself out there.  I can write about a character who believes whole-heartedly in reincarnation and is certain they can identify their own past lives without having to address whether I am one of those people.  My characters can be and do a whole range of things, but they are not me.  I don’t have to believe in what I create in a story and if I do in fact believe it, I don’t really need to admit that to anyone.

I believe that it will take me three to four more weeks to finish the first draft of my novel.  I am going to continue blogging during that time, but I am not going to force it anymore.  If I’m not inspired to write about my personal thoughts or observations, I won’t and if I am, I will.  And as I prefer to believe everything happens for a reason, hopefully the reason for this is to move me closer to my goal of being a published YA author.


5 thoughts on “Fiction

  1. Leigh D. Muller February 4, 2011 / 12:21 pm

    The novel is the goal. Keep your eye on it and don’t look back.
    I’m amazed by how much you’ve written in such a short time. Keep going; the finish line is right there — close enough to touch!

    • lesleehorner February 4, 2011 / 3:07 pm

      It is really close and I’m definitely feeling a shift with the direction of my writing. After today, I’ve got 42,000 words! It’s crazy! Thank you for your help and support, Leigh. Can’t wait to come and share the next chapter Wednesday night!

  2. Leigh D. Muller February 7, 2011 / 10:26 pm

    And I can’t wait to hear it. Hurry up Wednesday!

  3. pat February 13, 2011 / 6:59 pm

    Just found you and here you are talking about letting the site “go.” (dwindle away?) Perhaps a “burr in the saddle” might prompt new ideas? (me being the burr) One problem is I came in through Paul Ferrini and your more recent posts arent about him–or his message. Allowing the world to unfold as it will is important to my well-being, hence I will only add I HOPE you keep writing this blog. As to your novel, enjoy it for whatever it brings you.

    • lesleehorner February 13, 2011 / 8:17 pm

      Thank you for reading, Pat! I don’t plan to let the blog go completely, but definitely found that I was struggling to write something new everyday. Like you, I think most of my readers come for the spiritual nature of my writing and currently I am feeling the need to let things settle. I was reading too many different things (though with similar messages). I tried to tackle ACIM which I was inspired to do after reading the last book in the Paul Ferrini “Love Without Conditions” series. I felt a lot of resistance trying to do the course for whatever reason. I’m not sure I’m ready for it just yet. I do hope that although my post may come less frequently, you will continue to check back in.

      On another note, how long have you studied Paul Ferrini’s teachings? Do you have any favorite books you would recommend when I do return to spiritual teachings (as I know I will eventually be drawn back to it)?

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