A Shift In My Attitude

I’m not sure if it is something that naturally happens after you’ve been blogging for a certain period of time or if something inside of me has shifted, but the way I write this blog has changed a bit.

I used to over-analyze the way I worded things, particularly those in the context of spirituality.  I was very careful when using the word God.  I’d offer (or just use) alternatives to the word or I’d specify exactly what I recognize as God.  I didn’t want to offend anyone who might be reading that would take issue with the idea of God, specifically in the context of certain religions.  I was trying really hard to walk a line where I wouldn’t offend anyone.

I was always concerned about comments and if someone might hurt my feelings or cause me to have to defend myself.  There was a nervous feeling that washed over me every morning before checking my blog stats.  And of course sometimes it actually happened.  People have hurt my feelings and people have challenged me.  I could almost argue that through the Law of Attraction I brought it on myself for thinking so much about it.

For quite a lot of months now, I’ve gotten a minimal amount of comments.  My stats have remained the same but things are very, very quiet.  I’m not sure how many readers I have, but I know some of you are still out there.  I also know that I no longer worry when I press publish (except for yesterday b/c I wasn’t sure about using that FB status from my friend).  I don’t censor myself anymore or seek to keep everyone in their comfort zone.  I say God a lot these days.  Maybe I’ve come to a place within myself that I no longer feel uneasy with that word.  I know what it means to me and I don’t really need to explain it anymore.

I think this is a good shift.  This blog has become a peaceful aspect of my life when it was once (at times) just another invitation for drama.  I know there are days like today that are probably not as interesting to read, but I am certain the low-key nature of my life right now feels pretty nice.



5 thoughts on “A Shift In My Attitude

  1. Laura December 29, 2010 / 8:45 am

    I am still around and reading. It’s good that you are less anxious about posting. It means you have more confidence. I have fewer comments too, but I think it might be a bit that there is less traffic in the blog world these days. Perhaps the shine has gone off it? I know that over the past 3 months, I have read less and less and commented less. Not because I don’t care, but because there are always more pressing things. Funny enough, yours is one I do read rather regularly. And you see how many comments I give. ((hugs))

    • lesleehorner December 29, 2010 / 12:06 pm

      Thank you so much, Laura!

  2. Winslow December 29, 2010 / 11:25 am

    Lovely! I think the reason so many of us continue to read your blog is that it’s like picking up the phone and talking to a friend: you just say what’s on your mind – and it’s always interesting because it’s personal, changing, honest, and striving. I know we should sometimes respond more, but there’s something peaceful in simply listening too.

    • lesleehorner December 29, 2010 / 12:05 pm

      Thank you, Winslow. And I have really come to a place where it is very OK with me that I don’t get a lot of comments. There was a time where I really obsessed about them and of course even tweaked my thoughts based on how I thought certain regular commenters might respond (particularly 2 once regular readers who are atheist).

  3. Rebecca Clare Smith December 29, 2010 / 10:15 pm

    I don’t think you need to worry about what you say so much, anyway. The reason that people read your blog is because they want to connect with you and if you censor yourself then they can’t do that. A lack of comments and a continued steady level of stats doesn’t mean people have stopped reading, either. It probably just means that they agree with what you say and feel comfortable just hearing from you so they don’t feel the need to comment.

    And I have to admit, I think both of those are pretty nice things to have for a blogger.

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