I’m not sure if it is something that naturally happens after you’ve been blogging for a certain period of time or if something inside of me has shifted, but the way I write this blog has changed a bit.
I used to over-analyze the way I worded things, particularly those in the context of spirituality. I was very careful when using the word God. I’d offer (or just use) alternatives to the word or I’d specify exactly what I recognize as God. I didn’t want to offend anyone who might be reading that would take issue with the idea of God, specifically in the context of certain religions. I was trying really hard to walk a line where I wouldn’t offend anyone.
I was always concerned about comments and if someone might hurt my feelings or cause me to have to defend myself. There was a nervous feeling that washed over me every morning before checking my blog stats. And of course sometimes it actually happened. People have hurt my feelings and people have challenged me. I could almost argue that through the Law of Attraction I brought it on myself for thinking so much about it.
For quite a lot of months now, I’ve gotten a minimal amount of comments. My stats have remained the same but things are very, very quiet. I’m not sure how many readers I have, but I know some of you are still out there. I also know that I no longer worry when I press publish (except for yesterday b/c I wasn’t sure about using that FB status from my friend). I don’t censor myself anymore or seek to keep everyone in their comfort zone. I say God a lot these days. Maybe I’ve come to a place within myself that I no longer feel uneasy with that word. I know what it means to me and I don’t really need to explain it anymore.
I think this is a good shift. This blog has become a peaceful aspect of my life when it was once (at times) just another invitation for drama. I know there are days like today that are probably not as interesting to read, but I am certain the low-key nature of my life right now feels pretty nice.