I am taking a break today. Mother-in-law is visiting and I haven’t had a lot of time to think of a new post. I should have another piece up over at Owning Pink, so head over there and see what you find.
I’m not sure if it is something that naturally happens after you’ve been blogging for a certain period of time or if something inside of me has shifted, but the way I write this blog has changed a bit.
I used to over-analyze the way I worded things, particularly those in the context of spirituality. I was very careful when using the word God. I’d offer (or just use) alternatives to the word or I’d specify exactly what I recognize as God. I didn’t want to offend anyone who might be reading that would take issue with the idea of God, specifically in the context of certain religions. I was trying really hard to walk a line where I wouldn’t offend anyone.
I was always concerned about comments and if someone might hurt my feelings or cause me to have to defend myself. There was a nervous feeling that washed over me every morning before checking my blog stats. And of course sometimes it actually happened. People have hurt my feelings and people have challenged me. I could almost argue that through the Law of Attraction I brought it on myself for thinking so much about it.
For quite a lot of months now, I’ve gotten a minimal amount of comments. My stats have remained the same but things are very, very quiet. I’m not sure how many readers I have, but I know some of you are still out there. I also know that I no longer worry when I press publish (except for yesterday b/c I wasn’t sure about using that FB status from my friend). I don’t censor myself anymore or seek to keep everyone in their comfort zone. I say God a lot these days. Maybe I’ve come to a place within myself that I no longer feel uneasy with that word. I know what it means to me and I don’t really need to explain it anymore.
I think this is a good shift. This blog has become a peaceful aspect of my life when it was once (at times) just another invitation for drama. I know there are days like today that are probably not as interesting to read, but I am certain the low-key nature of my life right now feels pretty nice.
Almost everything that pokes at me and sends me out of my comfort zone these days originates from Facebook. I think this window we’ve created for ourselves into the lives of people we know, but don’t really know forces us pull our heads out of the sand and admit that there are all kinds of other viewpoints out there. If we can’t embrace each others’ differences, we at least have to learn to accept them because they exist and denying the existence doesn’t change that fact.
For me the button that is most often pressed is the one in charge of my politics. I know that I am not the only one that could admit this. Today a friend posted something that was so very true, yet left me feeling a mixture of angry, sad, and fearful. I’ll try to paraphrase what she said:
Do you ever notice how when you find out someone’s political beliefs your opinion of them instantly changes and you no longer feel the same about them? It’s interesting that that happens.
Reading that made me sad because, after two years of being her Facebook friend, I know her political views and they are not the same as mine. It was a reminder that the instant I am open about being liberal there are people who will think less of me and perhaps even write me off. The comment made me angry because it means that all the respect and love that brings us to a relationship in the first place can be torn apart in one moment of categorizing ourselves. Finally it made me fearful because, like I said before, it was a very true (for probably most people) statement.
I’ve been in both situations before. I’ve been in the place where you’re hanging out with a new friend, you like them and see the potential for a great relationship and then the subject of politics come up. They say something that lets you know their on your team and suddenly you feel those warm fuzzies. In your mind you’re running through a field of daisies with some sweet song playing. In one instant an alliance has been made, and yes, you like this person more than you did the moment before. I’ve also been in the moment where the new friend expresses a political opinion opposite yours and the sound of a record scratch resonates in your head. How could this be? She/He can’t possibly be one of them! And just like that, you’re not so sure you could ever find common ground with this right-wing/left-wing crazy (gotta love how our ego exaggerates)!
If there is something I want to transform about myself it is this reaction. I want to see myself have these snap judgments and be able to take a time-out to pray for God to heal my thoughts and help me see what’s real. In reality we all just want the same basic things. We want to feel safe and loved. It doesn’t matter what your political party affiliation is. The negative reactions about our differences come from fear and that fear is used so well in politics to divide us, even from those we respect and love.
More and more these days I am finding friends on the other side of the fence whom I have so much in common with. I am better for having them in my life and hope that in the future my political allegiances never keep me from connecting with people like these smart and loving ones I already know!
*A note to my FB friend if she is reading*
I hope I didn’t offend you by paraphrasing you here. Thank you for inspiring me to look within at my own reactions.
I think I’ve told you about how each year at church we write a letter to God. The letter includes our goals for the year and of course is written as if they have come to be. That is one of the ingredients in the Law of Attraction, to believe it has already come to pass instead of just hoping it might happen. Anyway, once the letters are written, church staff puts them away and mails them off to us the following year. Last week I received my letter and have decided to share it with you.
You have me, do what you will for me. I continue to be the instrument. Show me who you desire me to be. I am open to your voice and the inspiration you send. I will put you and our work as priority in my life. Guide me to heal and help those in need. Offer me the platform to do your work. Show me my purpose. Let me be a voice and messenger for you. I am open. I am listening. Move me, show me, make me. I am here for you. You have me. I am trusting and faithful to your will for me.
As I re-read and reflect on this the only thing I am certain of is that God gave me a platform at Unity with the preteens and teens. I am so happy in my position teaching those kids! At the end of this year I am guided more than ever back to these goals. Above all I want to listen and be open to guidance.
“We can safely place our lives in the hands of God, as his Spirit knows far better than we do how to turn our earthly existence into streams of radiance. Yet the ego stands guard, lest we break free of our self-destructive patterns. The ego, after all, cannot live without them.” -Marianne Williamson
I have a Christmas post up on Owning Pink today so I am just going to direct you all over there. Click here for the main page and you should find my article there. I titled it A Christmas Story I Can Believe In though I’m not sure if it will be up as that or not.
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!