A Few Days With Jesus

Some time ago, maybe two years, I reached out for spiritual answers through “automatic writing.”  This is a much more woo-woo way of saying soul-writing or journaling.  It was at a point where I was quite certain I needed a spiritual teacher.  I’d been informed by various people that everyone needs a real-life teacher.  You can’t get there with books alone.  I asked my journal, or asked God through my journal, who would be my teacher.  The answer that came into my head and onto the page was JESUS.

At that time I’d just bought A Course In Miracles which is supposedly a curriculum by Jesus (through Helen Schucman). I started reading the text but didn’t complete it and didn’t even begin on the student workbook.   The book is a lot to grasp, I’d say in parts it is as tricky to decode as the Bible.  And to some extent I was as skeptical of it as I am the Bible.  After reading over 700 pages of it (it’s over 1000 pages) 400 pages of the almost 700 page text, I put it aside and have only thought of it on a few occasions.  (One of those occasions was when I was bringing the blog back and I considered making it an ACIM themed blog.)

So the idea of learning from Jesus through A Course In Miracles has been a seedling in my brain for a while.  This week I read the last two books in the Reflections of the Christ Mind series by Paul Ferrini.  Just as Helen Schucman before him, he feels and claims that the content of his books came directly from Jesus.  When you read it you feel as if you are having a modern day conversation with the Savior himself.  The teachings are exactly what resonates with me and nothing like what I heard in the Baptist church that reminded us again and again that without accepting Christ we’d suffer for eternity in Hell.

The last book in the series mostly came from Paul Ferrini himself.  He talked about how he came to accept Jesus as his teacher.  He was raised Jewish and wasn’t necessarily open to the Christian concept of the son of God.  But in a moment of darkness in his life, a voice came to him and guided him.  Later he would realize this presence was Jesus.  Along his path he found A Course in Miracles and although skeptical of it’s origin found that the teachings were in line with the Christ he knew.  Through reading what was in essence his testimony, I came to understand the true meaning of accepting Jesus Christ as your savior.  It is not a process in which you take a vow and start going to church.  Instead it is about going within, asking Christ to guide you, and being open to that guidance without inserting your ego into the mix. We really can know Jesus.

I had such an experience some time ago (of truly feeling Jesus was with me).  I’d had an encounter with someone who had accused me of worshiping false Gods and being a voice for the devil.  But what I felt in my heart was that I’d learned that I could commune with God and Jesus in silence.  I’d even felt that a lot of what came to me through meditations, books I found, and people I met were messages about Reality from God.  So after this run-in, I wanted to prove to myself that Jesus was with me too.  That night in bed I asked Jesus for a sign.  It may have all been in my head but I swear that I felt the palms of my hands and my feet tingle.  In the next moment I heard “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Since that night I’ve still struggled with my relationship with Jesus.  Because of the religious influences in my life it is often hard for me to separate the loving, forgiving brother and wayshower with the God up on the cross that I am supposed to bow down to.  In my attempts to analyze this I’ve even questioned his very existence at all.  This week I had the opportunity to hear a call in the form of those books.  It reminded me that there is a teacher out there for me and all I need to do is commit to finding quiet time to commune with him and follow the example he set.  The Christ is within all of us, it’s just up to us if we want to meet him there.

8 thoughts on “A Few Days With Jesus

  1. JO ELDRIDGE October 29, 2010 / 8:09 am

    Love this entry. ACIM has been a significant guide in my life for several years now and it is a lot to grasp. I too am always a bit skeptical with the source but the year i did the workbook every day was life changing. I will begin it again this January 1st. I appreciate your writing.

    • lesleehorner October 29, 2010 / 8:18 am

      Thank you so much Jo! I would love to join you in January as I do feel I’m being called to dive into ACIM and your comment is just another sign of that!

  2. JO ELDRIDGE October 29, 2010 / 8:25 am

    We’ll do it!!

  3. anna October 29, 2010 / 8:28 am

    hi leslee … this is a sincere post by a dedicated seeker and it’s wonderful…
    jesus, the man, the rabbi, the carpenter, the teacher … so realized the Christ, the spirit of God within him, and lived out from “that” Nature. he said “of my own self i can do nothing” … he taught that that same spirit of God, that was realized in him, is within every individual, to be individually realized … not to worship him, jesus, the instrument … but to discover this true Nature within ourself.

    in “eat love pray” julia roberts played the part of the girl traveling to italy, bali and india and while she was playing that part, deep down she never forgot her julia roberts’ identity … we all play many parts in the human scheme … wife, husband, parent, writer, nurse, lawyer, doctor, clerk, chef … and all the while the spirit of God within us is being our ever-present true eternal identity … to be acknowledged and realized.

    getting acquainted with that omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent spirit, our true nature … is the glorious wake-up journey … identifying with spiritual energy instead of finite, mortal density … this realization of one I in all the world is the peace that passeth understanding …
    “I and my Father are one”
    LOVE is the realization of oneness … that’s the love this world is waiting for.
    “there’s only one I, no matter who
    it’s the very same one, being me and you
    recognize that I behind each mask
    it’s our most important daily task
    that’s loving our neighbor, it’s easy to do
    when you know your neighbor is really you!”

    keep up the good work, leslee …
    we’ll keep on digging and unearthing our true nature …
    lots of love,

    • lesleehorner October 29, 2010 / 11:10 am

      Thank you Anna! Your words are beautiful!

  4. Rena October 29, 2010 / 8:58 am

    I woke up to your post this morning (since I email subscribe to your posts) and love what you have poured out here. It rings true on so many counts and I am certain much of what you have written is a shared experience with your readers too. Connection, Clarity, Truth and Guidance are such driving forces for “the seeker.” You discovered, as you set out to read ACIM, what many others have realized–You don’t read ACIM, you study it (like you might the Bible or another religious text) for years and even a lifetime.

    As you seek guidance from your teacher, I wonder if you know that you are a teacher to so many. Thank you for sharing of yourself in this venue. You are ten shades of wonderful.

    • lesleehorner October 29, 2010 / 11:11 am

      Thank you Rena!

  5. Tony November 2, 2010 / 1:04 pm

    “I am the holy Son of God Himself.”

    Here is your declaration of release from bondage of the world. And here as well is all the world released. You do not see what you have done by giving to the world the role of jailer to the Son of God. What could it be but vicious and afraid, fearful of shadows, punitive and wild, lacking all reason, blind, insane and sad?

    What have you done that this should be your world? What have you done that this is what you see? Deny your own identity and this is what remains. You look on chaos and proclaim it as yourself. There is no sight that fails to witness this to you. There is no sound that does not speak of frailty within you and without; no breath you draw that does not seem to bring you nearer death; no hope you hold but will dissolve in tears.

    Deny your own identity and you will not escape the madness which induced this weird, unnatural and ghostly thought which mocks creation and which laughs at God. Deny your own identity and you assail the universe alone, without a friend, a tiny particle of dust against the legions of your enemies. Deny your own identity and look on evil, sin and death. And watch despair snatch from your fingers every scrap of hope, leaving you nothing but the wish to die.

    Yet what is it except a game you play in which identity can be denied? You are as God created you. All else but this one thing is folly to believe. In this one thought is everything set free. In this one truth are all illusions gone. In this one fact is sinlessness proclaimed to be forever part of everything; the central core of its existence and its guarantee of immortality.” acim Lesson 191

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