Human Behavior

I’m laughing a little as I title this post because there is a Bjork song with the same title and Mark teases our dog by singing it to her.  Lilly is now pretty much conditioned to switch into attack mode as soon as she hears him belt out a note of it.  There was also a period of time where the girls would watch the video on YouTube and Bella found it quite frightening.  In most areas Callee is more like me then her father except when it comes to teasing.  For a long time Callee would say “Hey Bella you want to talk about human behavior?” and Bella would immediately get scared.

But quite frankly, human behavior is scary and I’m not talking about the Bjork video.  We’ve been watching the series The L Word on and off for the last year.  After finishing season 2 we decided it was too cheesy and melodramatic, but ultimately we got reeled back into it and just finished season 3.  During season 3, I just kept thinking and asking “is this how people really are?” The show is focused around a group of women who are all either Lesbian or Bi-sexual.  The real heart of the show lies in their human-ness and the way they react to their life experiences.  Sometimes it is just plain difficult to watch…which is what brought me to my question.  Are people really like these characters?

What seems to dominate the character’s lives is FEAR.  Almost every move they make comes from that place.  One character sees her girlfriend flirting with some men and she runs over to her ex’s house and spends the night.  When the truth comes out she apologizes by saying that this is just who she is.  Her MO is to be an insecure womanizer…change isn’t in the cards.  The girlfriend is terribly hurt but instead of communicating and forgiving she seeks revenge by also cheating.  You watch these two characters react, react, react until they have completely undone all the good between them and have no relationship left.

Another couple has a daughter and are deciding to split up.  They scream, yell, and curse at one another as the little toddler sits on the floor and watches.  They each threaten the other with getting sole custody of the little girl.  They can’t seem to find any peace, they are too busy blaming one another for the demise of their partnership.

In this show the characters make all sorts of decisions trying to make themselves feel better.  Each one seeks outside of themselves.  When faced with the loss of a friend they cling to the nearest warm body and make irrational commitments.  At times when meeting their fears they give up, too unsure of their ability to follow through.  When people challenge them they defend themselves with anger as their uniform.  They let every emotion lead them down a different road.  And still in the midst of the chaos, it is never their own choices that led them there…always someone else’s fault.

I do believe that the show illustrates what a lot of people are really like (although with some added Hollywood drama).  I know that I’ve been like this at various times in my life.  I have been guilty of seeking revenge.  I’ve been guilty of making assumptions about what other people were thinking or saying in respect to me.  I’ve been incredibly insecure at times.  I’ve been clingy after experiencing a loss.  I’ve lashed out at people who love me.  I’ve been a quitter and at times even a little self-destructive.  I’ve looked to the world to fix me.  And I’ve probably, at least on an occasion or two, blamed someone else when it didn’t.

Luckily I now have a tool that helps to lift me, even if in brief intervals, out of the madness of my humanity.  Because I seek within and find moments of silence, I’ve learned to see my old patterns and break them.  I’ve learned that I don’t have to have an MO that stays with me forever.  Life is about growth and change that cannot be found outside of us…


7 thoughts on “Human Behavior

  1. Renee June 14, 2010 / 7:21 am

    What you have to remember is that “reality TV” is anything but.

    First, if you look at the credits at the end of each show, it will list “writers.” Why does “reality TV” need writers?

    Second, they cast these shows by finding the most extreme examples of mankind that exist and then edit the shows to highlight the most extreme behavior of these extreme people.

    Third, I believe it was Chloe Kardashian I saw being interviewed one night on The Tonight Show talking about how they would film a “scene” from her own reality show and then have to recreate that scene over and over, under direction and filmed from all angles until it was exactly what the producers wanted to show the world. (I was listening to this interview the night I was scrubbing dog blood out of my carpet!).

    So, while I think that of course we all carry negative traits, the question you have to ask is, are these traits who we are? Or just a part of who we are?

    • lesleehorner June 14, 2010 / 7:37 am

      The L Word is a regular drama, it’s not reality TV. And it is over-the-top in plenty of situations, hence the “hard to watch at times.” But for writing and entertainment purposes they have these characters doing openly what I think a lot of people think and do privately. Another example is one minor character says “Wish me luck, I’m trying to have a baby. I just want to have someone who will be with me forever.” I’d bet there are some women and girls who might think that about getting pregnant but most of them would never say it out loud.

      • Renee June 14, 2010 / 7:44 am

        Oh, well then it’s even less realistic than “reality TV”!

        Leslee, you’re going to drive yourself crazy thinking this way. I certainly agree there are people in the world who are that way. But is it a majority of us? Is that behavior typical or an exception in most lives?

        And, really, the people who think that about getting pregnant DO say it out loud. Most of those who think that way don’t see anything wrong it, so they don’t have a problem vocalizing it. Unfortunately, I’ve known a few people who felt that way. But most people I know don’t.

        The problem with looking at this show as being representative of human behavior is that it’s a condensed and magnified representation of human behavior, not a realistic and in perspective representation of it.

      • lesleehorner June 14, 2010 / 11:00 am

        If I stop pondering the human existence, what on earth would I blog about?

    • Renee June 14, 2010 / 11:04 am

      True, true! 🙂

      I’m just saying it isn’t as bad as the people youo described in your post! Although, I’m starting to question the intelligence and judgment of most people these days …

      Maybe it IS that bad!

  2. Fun Mama - Deanna June 18, 2010 / 2:10 pm

    I don’t think that MOST people are that bad. I tried watching this show for a while, but it, like many dramas, was just too over the top for me. My bigger issue is that I worried that people would not notice that most dramas are like this, and just attribute it to “lesbian” behavior.

    • lesleehorner June 18, 2010 / 2:25 pm

      The show seems to focus a great deal on cheating and revenge/competition in that sense. I think out in the real world people react to life in different degrees and ways. If someone is driving along and gets cut off by another car they might start riding to close to the other car in an “I’ll show you” kind of way. Once I wrote a blog post and someone read it and took offense. They thought I was judging an aspect of their life. Instead of letting it go or calling me to discuss it they showed me and showed me good by posting an incredibly mean and hurtful comment on the blog. Luckily that one never saw the light of day b/c I deleted it, but what a way for a kind everyday person to get revenge.

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