I’m laughing a little as I title this post because there is a Bjork song with the same title and Mark teases our dog by singing it to her. Lilly is now pretty much conditioned to switch into attack mode as soon as she hears him belt out a note of it. There was also a period of time where the girls would watch the video on YouTube and Bella found it quite frightening. In most areas Callee is more like me then her father except when it comes to teasing. For a long time Callee would say “Hey Bella you want to talk about human behavior?” and Bella would immediately get scared.
But quite frankly, human behavior is scary and I’m not talking about the Bjork video. We’ve been watching the series The L Word on and off for the last year. After finishing season 2 we decided it was too cheesy and melodramatic, but ultimately we got reeled back into it and just finished season 3. During season 3, I just kept thinking and asking “is this how people really are?” The show is focused around a group of women who are all either Lesbian or Bi-sexual. The real heart of the show lies in their human-ness and the way they react to their life experiences. Sometimes it is just plain difficult to watch…which is what brought me to my question. Are people really like these characters?
What seems to dominate the character’s lives is FEAR. Almost every move they make comes from that place. One character sees her girlfriend flirting with some men and she runs over to her ex’s house and spends the night. When the truth comes out she apologizes by saying that this is just who she is. Her MO is to be an insecure womanizer…change isn’t in the cards. The girlfriend is terribly hurt but instead of communicating and forgiving she seeks revenge by also cheating. You watch these two characters react, react, react until they have completely undone all the good between them and have no relationship left.
Another couple has a daughter and are deciding to split up. They scream, yell, and curse at one another as the little toddler sits on the floor and watches. They each threaten the other with getting sole custody of the little girl. They can’t seem to find any peace, they are too busy blaming one another for the demise of their partnership.
In this show the characters make all sorts of decisions trying to make themselves feel better. Each one seeks outside of themselves. When faced with the loss of a friend they cling to the nearest warm body and make irrational commitments. At times when meeting their fears they give up, too unsure of their ability to follow through. When people challenge them they defend themselves with anger as their uniform. They let every emotion lead them down a different road. And still in the midst of the chaos, it is never their own choices that led them there…always someone else’s fault.
I do believe that the show illustrates what a lot of people are really like (although with some added Hollywood drama). I know that I’ve been like this at various times in my life. I have been guilty of seeking revenge. I’ve been guilty of making assumptions about what other people were thinking or saying in respect to me. I’ve been incredibly insecure at times. I’ve been clingy after experiencing a loss. I’ve lashed out at people who love me. I’ve been a quitter and at times even a little self-destructive. I’ve looked to the world to fix me. And I’ve probably, at least on an occasion or two, blamed someone else when it didn’t.
Luckily I now have a tool that helps to lift me, even if in brief intervals, out of the madness of my humanity. Because I seek within and find moments of silence, I’ve learned to see my old patterns and break them. I’ve learned that I don’t have to have an MO that stays with me forever. Life is about growth and change that cannot be found outside of us…