Today I turn 35. I can’t believe it. I feel like the year clock stopped around 29 and when I pick Bella up from school in the afternoons I am still surprised when I see that tall and thin girl walking towards me. It seems like only yesterday she was an infant and Callee just a twinkle in my eye. But today I am a 35-year-old mother of two girls ages 6 and 4. I was talking to my mom the other day and she informed me that my dad wants to buy a motorcycle.
“Can you imagine this 69-year-old man on a motorcycle?” She asked with a laugh.
When did my father turn 69? Oh yeah, that would be the same year that I have turned 35. In my mind my parents are in their late 50s. Maybe it’s because that’s how old they were when I got married and moved away. Somehow time doesn’t pass and things don’t change if you’re not there everyday to see it happen (you know like the tree falling in the forest thing).
Last year was a big year. I don’t really need to go into all of it. But I did start this blog just a few weeks after I turned 34. I started it with the intention to post everyday. I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise, but wanted to very much. With the exception of one very sad week and thanks to a little help from my friends and fellow writers, I have posted daily. I used to think I wanted a third baby. This blog has become that baby. I’ve watched it grow and learned a lot about being a good “mother.” I have big dreams for this baby, especially since I have a lot more control over what this baby becomes than I will the other two.
So today I am 35-years-old. It feels huge and yet I’ll probably spend it the same way I do every other day, well except for the fact that my parents should be arriving this evening sometime. A few years ago, I set goals for myself. 35 was the magic number when X and Y would happen. I am very hopeful of the goal. There is a voice in my head screaming or whispering “I declare this the year of personal transformation and professional success.” I have faith in that voice, but also surrender my idea of what that transformation and success should look like. This year I want most of all to love, listen, feel joy, and peacefully put one foot in front of the other!
Happy Birthday to me and thank you all for being a part of my life!