Goodbye 34

Today I turn 35.  I can’t believe it.  I feel like the year clock stopped around 29 and when I pick Bella up from school in the afternoons I am still surprised when I see that tall and thin girl walking towards me.  It seems like only yesterday she was an infant and Callee just a twinkle in my eye.  But today I am a 35-year-old mother of two girls ages 6 and 4.  I was talking to my mom the other day and she informed me that my dad wants to buy a motorcycle.

“Can you imagine this 69-year-old man on a motorcycle?”  She asked with a laugh.

When did my father turn 69? Oh yeah, that would be the same year that I have turned 35.  In my mind my parents are in their late 50s.  Maybe it’s because that’s how old they were when I got married and moved away.  Somehow time doesn’t pass and things don’t change if you’re not there everyday to see it happen (you know like the tree falling in the forest thing).

Last year was a big year.  I don’t really need to go into all of it.  But I did start this blog just a few weeks after I turned 34.  I started it with the intention to post everyday.  I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise, but wanted to very much.  With the exception of one very sad week and thanks to a little help from my friends and fellow writers, I have posted daily.  I used to think I wanted a third baby.  This blog has become that baby.  I’ve watched it grow and learned a lot about being a good “mother.”  I have big dreams for this baby, especially since I have a lot more control over what this baby becomes than I will the other two.

So today I am 35-years-old.  It feels huge and yet I’ll probably spend it the same way I do every other day, well except for the fact that my parents should be arriving this evening sometime.  A few years ago, I set goals for myself.  35 was the magic number when X and Y would happen.  I am very hopeful of the goal.  There is a voice in my head screaming or whispering “I declare this the year of personal transformation and professional success.”  I have faith in that voice, but also surrender my idea of what that transformation and success should look like.  This year I want most of all to love, listen, feel joy, and peacefully put one foot in front of the other!

Happy Birthday to me and thank you all for being a part of my life!

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7 thoughts on “Goodbye 34

  1. Renee April 16, 2010 / 7:10 am

    The 30s are freaking me out. I feel like this is the decade where I should be settled and feel like an adult, and I don’t! 35 is still a couple years away, but it’s looming. I guess I better get my butt moving! 🙂

    I know what you mean about your dad. Mine turned 59 last week, which means he’ll be 60 in a year and I will officially have a parent in his 60s. That kind of scares me, and I’m not sure why the 60s seems old when the 50s doesn’t.

    *sigh*

  2. Tara April 16, 2010 / 8:05 am

    It’s hard to believe that we are now 5 years from 40, ekk! As long as we stay young in our hearts is what matters right! I hope you have fabulous year being 35! I still enjoy reading your blogs! =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  3. Dionne April 16, 2010 / 8:13 am

    Girl! You always speak right to my heart! I had a hard time with 35 too. I just kept thinking where did the time go and wow I am married to a 40 year old man?!? Plus my mom, who doesn’t look a day over 40, will be 60 next month and my mouth just drops open thinking about it! I feel like 35 is my cut off to decide if I am going to have a second child, and it is a huge weight trying to make that decision.

    I just wanted to add my thoughts and tell you I am so glad you and I have become such good friends and that we get to see each other at least a couple of times a year! See ya in a few weeks. Have a fabulous birthday!!!

    Love ya

    • lesleehorner April 16, 2010 / 10:30 am

      Thank you and I can’t wait to see you in a few weeks too!

  4. ray April 16, 2010 / 9:55 am

    Again, Happy Birthday sweet lady. It doesn’t matter whether or not you accomplish your professional goals this year but what is important is your ultimate life goal. “This year I want most of all to love, listen, feel joy, and peacefully put one foot in front of the other!” (Your exact words!) I hold that vision for you.

  5. julian April 16, 2010 / 2:04 pm

    Happy Birthday Leslee!!

    happy, happy, happy birthday!
    [hug]

  6. Toby Clark April 16, 2010 / 4:49 pm

    Happy Birthday, Leslee! Can you believe we have known each other for twenty years? Granted, a lot of years past where we had no idea where the other one was, or what each other was doing. (And granted, much of that time I had no idea where I was, or what the hell I was doing!) It still makes me feel old to realize how long I have known some old high school friends, but then I look where I am in life…and I feel young. I guess I am beginning again in life, starting fresh and new for a second time in my life. I have learned so much to carry me through this next phase of life. Sometimes, though when I wear something outlandish, which I have always loved to do, people give me looks like maybe I am too old to be dressing in so punk or so costume-like. One thing I loved about New Orleans is everyone dresses crazy. Anyway, I hope that this monumental year is the best so far…you will most certainly experience ups and downs as every year is spotted with that. But, I personally feel really good about this year…for both of us, for all of us! I love you, old buddy. I am so blessed to know you. Today is a day to celebrate your life. Breathe it all in my friend…and write about it!
    Much Love….Toby

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