Am I willing to let go of the size of the life I’ve known to have a bigger life?
I grew up in a very average middle class family. My father was a mail carrier and my mom worked for years at a place that prepared movie reels to be shown in the theatres. We lived in a 3-bedroom house with 3 kids. I shared a room with my sister up until I was 10, when my oldest sister got married and moved out of our house. When I was little we went on one vacation a year, almost always to Myrtle Beach. By the time I was a teen, we had a little trailer in Garden City (outside of Myrtle Beach) and were able to go for weekend get-a-ways more often. I had everything I needed and wanted. The size of my life was perfect.
So when I went to college, I imagined my life just as I’d always known it. I got a degree in Elementary Education because teaching children was something I knew I would be able to do quite easily. I didn’t care about the money, I liked the idea of the schedule and busyness involved in that career. I also went in with the mindset that I would get married and my teacher’s salary would ultimately be the supplementary salary in my family.
Mark and I have been married now for 11 years. Despite how much has changed over the years, I still live a life that is the same size as I’ve always known. In a lot of areas, this is good. We live very simply and I appreciate that. What I don’t appreciate is that for too long I have categorized myself as “average.” I put myself into a mold that doesn’t exactly match with my progressive mind set. In a lot of ways you could call me a feminist, yet all my life I only ever imagined myself in stereotypical roles that women are famous for. Wife, teacher, mother. Of service to my students and my family, but unable to make a difference beyond that small world.
Over the past few years I have learned so much about what we humans are capable of. I’ve learned a lot about what I am capable of. I’ve expanded from a college student to an unemployed wife, from a wife to a daycare employee, from a daycare employee to an elementary school teacher, from a teacher to a stay-at-home-mother, from a mother to a writer, from a writer to a novelist, from a novelist to a blogger. I am still expanding and as I grow, all those roles remain within me and in some cases are a huge part of my daily routine. My life is getting bigger and I am willing to let it. I am willing to go with the flow and see where inspiration leads me. I am willing to scale the walls, face the dragons, and overcome the challenges. Believing is seeing and I can do anything I set my mind to. So YES God, Universe, Spirit, and friends, I AM WILLING to let go of the size of the life I have always known to have a bigger life!!!
What about you??