Midnitemonologues’ Click (2)

My dear friend over at Midnitemonologues is back with another moving click story.

Love and Loss: Redemption

By midnitemonologues

Ok…so…I am pulling a “Star Wars” feature here and I started with my first “Click Story” entitled, Love and Loss which started somewhere in the middle of my life’s saga…and now we will take a step backwards in time, to several years earlier…

Picture this, the glory days of college life; happy, single, making new friends, a totally new chapter in my life of “independence”.  Free to make my own choices, free to do my own thing without my delightful…yet overbearing (or so I thought at the time) parents getting in the way.  For example, I remember my mother, banging on the bathroom door shouting “7 minutes”!!!… repeatedly.  Yes, that was the time allotted in my household in which to take a shower.  So, naturally, what did I do when I went to college?  Oh, I indulged…heck yeah I indulged in 30+ minute, hot, steamy, wonderfully relaxing showers…which I had never been able to enjoy before.  No, I wasn’t the typical college student (I say that with all well meaning and intent) that totally indulged in drinking, perhaps drugs, etc.  No…it was the showers for me…I had absolutely no problem going to a frat party with my can of sprite or coke in hand – and yes – I played the drinking games – with my coke in hand…and was very well respected and received.

Alas…I digress…

One day…minding my own business…walking to class, I see him; those dreamy brown eyes, that thick brown hair…and his football uniform.  Yes…it was love at first sight.  I was hooked…line, sinker and all!  (And…sink I did indeed…no pun intended).  He was my first “real” boyfriend.  He was my first love.  He was the first man I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life with.  We had been together about a year…and had decided to get married.  Over the course of our year of dating, I realized that his mother had a very strange “hold” (for lack of a better word) over him.  She had told him at one point in time that he was her “favorite” son.  He was the middle of 3 boys.  She had also said different things to make him very insecure and in a way “need” or “depend” on her…their relationship reminded me of the strange rumors about Elvis and his mother; and because we were in college together and didn’t see his family often…I pushed this warning sign to the back of my mind.  His family lived in Spartanburg at the time so we were together in college and as I lived in Charlotte…we did the “long-distance” thing over the summer.

Well…the gown had been purchased…the invites had been sent…and then one day, we had a disagreement over the phone (his mother had been the cause of it)…and decided to talk face to face on whether or not to pursue the marriage, I was so distraught.  We decided to meet under the giant “peach” in Gaffney…that was about half way for both of us.  Much to my chagrin, he seemed hell bent on wanting his way…and the issue was so strange involving his mother, that I just could not agree with it and move past it.  As we sat under the starry sky…and the lights of the giant peach…during our conversation, a realization hit me…this man is not the right one for me.  His problems are too deep rooted…and there was nothing that I could do to help him as long as his mother had this “power” over him.  I remember deciding then and there that the marriage should be called off…ugh…the dread of it all.  We parted with tears and wished each other well and went our separate ways.  I made sure to tell him not to call or try to contact me at all…as I knew I was too weak to stand my ground if we spoke again.  He called…but thankfully my grandmother (who I was living with at the time) honored my wishes and would not let him speak to me.

During the ride home from Gaffney, I had an “ah-ha” moment.  I realized that I was only pursuing college because that is what my parents wished for me to do.  I knew that after this (the first extremely emotional, humbling, and difficult time that I’d experienced yet in my short life)…things would never be the same.  I didn’t want to go back to college and face the friends who I’d parted with an engaged woman…but not only that…I just didn’t want to go period.  I wanted to see the world!  So…I went to the airport and picked up flight attendant applications, mailed them off, and told my parents that I was going to chase my dreams.  Boy…was that an interesting conversation…in the end, they wanted my happiness and agreed to send me to a local travel school.  Did I mention what a delight my parents are? (smile)

Making the phone calls to all of the folks we’d invited to the wedding was such a humbling experience.  To have to tell someone that your wedding has been called off ranks high up on my “most embarrassing/humbling moments” list.  I remember with my last phone call to my Great Aunt Joyce, the first thing she said to me was “I am so proud of you for doing the right thing, that takes guts, Kasey.  I love you and let’s go fishing next week.”  After that…I felt so much better…I knew that I was loved…I had a great family and wonderful friends.  Soon after all of the drama died down…I was hired by US Airways and was scheduled to go to Pennsylvania for my training.

As I set foot off of the plane in Pittsburg, I felt a jolt of positive, wild energy run through me.  We rode a bus to our hotel…and I remember stepping off of that bus in February and lo and behold –  big, huge, beautiful snow flakes started to land on my head.  As I looked up into the beautiful gray sky…gazing upon the snowflakes that surrounded me…I felt a sense of release and cleansing.  Thanking God for His Divine Providence in my life…I knew that He had me on the right path…His path…and that I was in store for an incredible journey and many wonderful and exciting adventures.

Thank you for reading my story.

Godspeed –

mm

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5 thoughts on “Midnitemonologues’ Click (2)

  1. Stacia December 15, 2009 / 11:38 am

    Wow Kasey! Again, I admire the ability you had to recognize what was and was not right for you from such a young age! Even more important, the fact that you acted on it rather than ignoring your inner voice. I slapped a muzzle on mine one too many times for my own good when I was that age! Your stories are so fantastic for young women, and all of us. Thanks for sharing your experience… and I will never look at that giant peach the same. =)

  2. Renee December 15, 2009 / 12:20 pm

    If I didn’t know better, I’d say you dated my ex.

    His mother saved me from marrying him, though, when she “attempted suicide” because he was dating me and he broke up with me out of guilt.

    I’ve recently been in touch with the poor girl he did marry and found out what a bullet I really did dodge.

  3. avionicsman December 15, 2009 / 5:35 pm

    Great post!! I wish I had done the right thing my first time!! Oh well I did get a great daughter out of it!!

  4. lesleehorner December 15, 2009 / 8:48 pm

    Excellent the way you trusted your gut and made such a huge step at such a young age. Obviously he wasn’t what you needed for your journey and although the marriage you ended up having first wasn’t a “good” experience I know you grew leaps and bounds b/c of it.

  5. Kasey December 16, 2009 / 12:10 am

    Thanks Leslee for posting and thank you all for reading…life is such a journey and I am happy with where I’ve been and where I’m going…decisions are tough…but…I am thankful for the good Lord being my guiding light. xoxo – k
    p.s. Stacia – I’ve never quite looked at that peach the same either… =)

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