Attraction

The issue of attraction is something I think about from time to time.  I believe when someone who is meant to help us, guide us, or teach us arrives in our lives our souls know.  In a response to what we know within the fabric of our being we feel a human level attraction.  The more intense of an attraction the more impact someone will have on our lives.  What I think happens next is we label these feelings.  We decide we have found a new best friend or a new lover.  We dive head first into making the relationship work.  Sometimes it works beautifully and lasts a lifetime, but sometimes it fails miserably and you are left hurt, broken and asking why.

I have two examples I’d like to share.

In college I was friends with a guy named B.  We got along great and could talk and drink beer together for hours.  One night we kissed and there was this spark.  I decided I was in love.  We had been friends for months and I genuinely knew and liked him.  It was easy.  For the next three weeks we were together constantly.  I took him home to meet my parents (although I think he only met my dad) and let him drive my car.  In the evenings he and I did what we did best…drink lots of beer.  Then one night  he went to a party without me and didn’t come over to my place afterward.  Turns out he’d met another girl and went home with her instead.  I was devastated!  For a while I moped around, drank a lot, and cornered him on a few occasions in the hopes of winning him back.  Ultimately, I hit a wall.  I had to change.  I let him go.  I stopped drinking.  I started going to church (logically seeking a spiritual answer that I didn’t actually get at that time).  Within a few months I reached a breaking point with my roommates and moved out of my apartment and the detrimental living situation I was in.  It was a life-altering period in my life that happened all because I fell in love with B.  The path I was on during that time was all wrong and the love and subsequent broken heart I experienced put me back on track.  Years later, I think of him and there is not the remotest twinge of love (despite how madly in love I thought I was at the time).  I wasn’t meant to be with him or even love him, he was put on my path to save me!  I am grateful for the experience.

About five years ago I met another stay-at-home mom who I felt an instant attraction to.  I thought she was the coolest ever and wanted to be her friend.  We did become friends and for a while I considered her one of my closest local friends.    After I read the book “The Law of Attraction: The Teachings of Abraham” I bought her a copy.  She read it,  invited me to her Unity Church and lent me books by Eric Butterworth, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, and Eckhart Tolle.  In essence she completely changed my life.  She didn’t push me onto my spiritual path, she picked me up and threw me like an Olympian.  I have learned and grown so much because of the ideas and principles that SHE introduced me to.  That was two years ago.  A lot has changed in our lives.  To be honest, I don’t think we are really friends anymore.  It’s sad and I miss her at times, but I am very aware of WHY she came into my life and I most definitely understand the reason that I felt such a HUGE attraction to her.

The important thing about attractions is that we enjoy the feelings and listen to our intuitions when making decisions.  We may find ourselves soaring in a new relationship or we may just crash and burn.  Either way, try to stay positive and ask what you have learned and gained from the relationship.  I guarantee you can come up with a lesson or two!

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11 thoughts on “Attraction

  1. Laurie December 9, 2009 / 9:04 am

    I have not read this blog entry yet – this is just a quote I read and I thought of you!

    “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions”

    • lesleehorner December 9, 2009 / 11:45 am

      Nice quote…maybe even a good topic for a blog post. I will have to sit with it for a while!

  2. ray December 9, 2009 / 1:51 pm

    Your last paragraph says it all. My question to you is “Where do you keep coming up with your inspirations?”

    • lesleehorner December 9, 2009 / 2:06 pm

      My goal is to simply be the instrument. A lot of times I feel like I am doing it!

  3. Stacia December 9, 2009 / 3:06 pm

    It would be great if more people could reflect on their experiences and relationships this way… so many people focus on the negative. I find that people who don’t ask (themselves) enough questions get stuck on feeling sorry for themselves or just miss valuable lessons so they can evolve to live a happier life. I actually have a piece of a draft about this topic, sort of, and now you got me thinking about it again. ;o)

  4. avionicsman December 9, 2009 / 3:16 pm

    Yes I firmly believe in attraction too Leslee. The wife and I went to see Wayne Dyer here in Vancouver last year. It was a moving and thought provoking experience. Beautiful blog!!

    • lesleehorner December 9, 2009 / 3:23 pm

      So awesome that you saw Wayne! I love him and the PBS specials always seem to be on TV right when I’m feeling down and need a reminder! Always love finding fellow Wayne Dyer fans!

  5. cjaxon December 9, 2009 / 8:41 pm

    I love that you included the fact that we are attracted to people in purely non-sexual ways. It can be scary, when you meet someone and feel this instant love. I have a dear friend, and we were talking about finding “best friends” and her description was that it was like falling in love. You want to know everything about the other person, feel the need to be physically close, but purely as a friend. I think as women that feeling scares us, and we tend to back away from people that bring out that strength of feeling in us. I know I do.
    Thanks for another great post!

    • lesleehorner December 9, 2009 / 9:48 pm

      When my husband and I first got married we moved away from my hometown and all of my closest friends. I tried very hard to make friends where we were but never felt the right level of attraction or click with anyone. We’d have a lot of conversations about it and I was just convinced that I needed to have the chemistry or it wasn’t worth it. So I” friendship dated” a lot and finally we moved to a place where I’ve made some real friends, although obviously I’ve dealt with at least one break-up! 🙂

      Thanks for the comment!

  6. rageomatic May 6, 2010 / 2:11 am

    I had a corrosively destructive relationship once, it was like pure magnetic sex, like magnet in our souls and crotches pulled us to each other and I couldn’t fight it thought I tried, and I debased myself and broke my little rules, and threw myself at her feet, and lost my self respect which ruined my life, and tore my heart of out my chest, and made me question everything I was…

    For which, ironically, I remain eternally gratefull, because by questioning everything I was I realized how much of what I was, was crap and gradually, though it took me the better part of a decade, set about changing myself into the man I am and now respect.

    • lesleehorner May 7, 2010 / 1:10 pm

      There’s almost always a reason to say thank you, even for the shit…

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