I met Grateful Kim through Twitter and the blogosphere. She wrote a comment in reply to one of @Whyisdaddycryin’s posts that had me cracking up. I immediately knew I had to check her blog out. Her message is extremely positive and uplifting. In a conversation this weekend with my husband I even quoted Kim as an “expert” when we were discussing raising our girls and dealing with the differences and disagreements we may have with them as they grow up. You can read her blog here and follow her on Twitter here. She was also recently a guest blogger on Owning Pink.
When God Winks…
Nearly five years ago, about the time I began really believing in the power of my thoughts and divine ”coincidences”, I was led to a book called “When God Winks” – How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life”. The author writes to the reader, saying “This book will validate your feelings that there’s more to coincidence than meets the eye. It also fosters hope for the dreams of your future by unveiling the wondrous map that has quietly guided you along the paths of your past. God has been winking at you.” –SQuire Rushnell (yes, the Q is supposed to be capitalized). This book was only the beginning of learning to accept the unfolding pages of my life and becoming acutely aware that there are no coincidences.
I am a realtor and have been so for a decade. That’s 10 years of my life people. It is not my dream job….and yet I can tell you with absolute conviction that this is where I am supposed to be for now. The people I have met, ”experts” I have followed (or read their book), the experiences I have had, the tears I have shed, the difficult choices I’ve had to make, the families I have helped, even the ones who disliked me in the end, have all been part of a journey. Who I am today is barely recognizable to even myself from the person I was 10 years ago. The real issue I have is that I don’t understand my destination. And truly, I’m okay with that most of the time. They says it’s all in the journey anyway.
Yesterday I woke up feeling completely insignificant to humanity. Once again I found myself crying to my husband about life now, and in the future. In these times, my real estate career has suffered a bit and my commitment and enthusiasm have been tested. When I’m not making money, I begin to question my value. I’ve been a working girl since I was 12 years old, and independence may as well be my middle name. And yet, over the last year or so I’ve become somewhat DEpendent and have also began to have an interest in other things – acknowledgement, gratitude, joy, inspiration, hope…love. Expressing it, experiencing it and passing it along to whoever will listen and play along. It’s simply amazing to me how people, women in particular, are hurting, feeling under-valued, questioning their validity and purpose and so much more. Speaking of which – I’d like to interject a little comment about “purpose”. I’m not entirely convinced that we have a single purpose in our life. My experience and attention to life is demonstrating to me that our purpose changes with the seasons of our life. So don’t get too hung up if you haven’t yet found your purpose. Just ask yourself what your purpose is in the moment and act on that. Otherwise I promise you a mental breakdown is forthcoming. Annnnywaaaay…..
Yesterday I sat in our monthly PTA meeting for the high school. We are preparing for Red Ribbon Week – a week-long event which promotes kids staying away from drugs. Many highschoolers are planning a pledge activity to avoid drugs and in return being given a raffle ticket to win a red Ipod, for which the PTA will pay for. I decided to reach out to the world of Facebook and Twitter to see if I could find a donor to pay for the Ipod for the cause. Within an hour of my post, I was asked by a friend of mine where to mail the check. I was astounded and grateful and actually questioned whether or not she was sure about that. Her comment to me was ”You do good work, and anything I can do to support.” This morning, completely unrelated, a friend of mine called and said she needed a pep talk and told me she knew I was the one who could help. And yet another person wrote to me today thanking me for my positivity and inspiration. And to think yesterday morning I was feeling unnecessary and worthless.
God winked at me in the last 24 hours, letting me know I am on the right path. And this path I’m on includes my desire to serve, inspire, get involved, encourage, cheer from the sidelines, motivate, and love….. and the reason I know this is because it literally lights me up! Which finally brings me to my point. My message to you is not to preach about how great I am. That is never my intention AT ALL. My intention is to serve as an example, and to remind you (and myself) to follow that inner voice, the one that keeps encouraging you to do the things you love, even though you have no idea how it will pay the bills or serve anyone. Sometimes the breakdowns we experience and the resulting questions that arise are the catalyst to where we should be headed. Appreciate your past, embrace the now, and try your best not to worry too much about the future (note to self). Hold on tightly to the belief and knowing that God is winking at us and there are no coincidences. And sometimes, often, the winks come to us not a single minute before they’re supposed to….and those fleeting moments of certainty help keep us going.