Update and Request

So first for the details.  I am exhausted, drained, and starting a new life without my best friend Amy.  The last time I talked to Amy was October 13, the day after the infamous blog drama.  We talked for an hour about family, friends, God, and Jesus.  I could have talked to her all day long but I had somewhere to be.  I hung up the phone thinking how very much I loved her.  Last week I got a call saying she was in the hospital in labor with her twin boys.  She was only 31 weeks pregnant.  I was worried about the babies.  The last news I got before leaving for Orlando was that she was doing great, labor had stopped, they were moving her to another hospital, and they even thought they’d keep those babies in for one more week.  We were in the Magic Kingdom when I got the message that she’d had the babies early Friday morning (Oct. 23).  The babies were doing great, but Amy had pneumonia.  She was going to be fine, but the down side was she couldn’t see or touch her boys.  I told Kristin to tell her I’d call her Sunday night after returning home.  On Sunday morning after 9:30 Kristin called in hysterics to tell me that Amy was in a coma.  Two hours later, Heather called to tell me she was gone and that now they were simply keeping her on machines to harvest her organs in preparation for donating them.  She died of a ruptured brain aneurysm.  She never got to touch, hold, or see her baby boys, Gavin and Brantley. I don’t know what my life will be like without Amy in it.  But more than anything, I am thinking of her husband, who now must raise 2 boys without his beloved partner and her mother, father and sister who have lost the beautiful, loving, and generous baby of their family.

So now for the requests:  First, there is a trust account set up for the babies.  If this story touches your heart and you are so inclined to make a loving donation, please email me at horner38@gmail.com and I can pass along the information for that account.

Second, this morning Kristin and I were reading a book that Amy gave Kristin.  We came to a page and Kristin said “Ah, this one’s for you Leslee.” and then she read from the book “when you get your first book published, I want you to dedicate it to me.”  This was a book about friends and that page was about two friends and one of them was a writer.  So apparently, Amy wants me to dedicate my first published book to her and damn it I intend to fulfill that request.  I have been playing around in my head with a novel idea for almost a year now and it is time to start writing it, since my other two are pretty much unpublishable.  What that means is that I will not have as much time to devote to “Waiting for the Click,” but I still intend to post everyday.  I have so many friends that are writers, bloggers, or just folks with wonderful tales to tell and I’m ready to tap that well.  I want to post one or two “click stories” each week from guest writers.  I titled the blog with the big click in mind, but there are so many little clicks in our lives.  I’d love for you to share with me and my readers a moment when something clicked and you knew that life would never be the same.  It could be love, friendship, spirituality, loss of a relationship, discovering your passion, finding a great job, or anything….

Send them to clickstories@gmail.  Also, keep stories under 1000 words please.

Thank you for stopping by while I was away.  Be patient with me as I ease back into writing and as a purge a lot of what I’m feeling here.  I’ve been writing letters to Amy in my head for days now and I do intend to actually write some of them here.  It would make her happy.  I’m exhausted at the moment and have not edited well.  Forgive me for any mistakes or awkward sentences.

Update Nov. 15th: Wanted to add a couple of pics of Amy.  I’ve written so much about her that I wanted to have her face here on the blog somewhere.  She sent me the occasional picture during her pregnancy…the first is 12 weeks, the second 20 weeks.

Amy 002Amy week 20

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22 thoughts on “Update and Request

  1. Renee October 30, 2009 / 7:26 am

    Leslee, I left you a message on Facebook, but I’ll tell you again that I am SO SORRY. This is just a horrible story, but definitely a lesson to live life to the fullest.

    You know you can always come to me for help with your writing. Don’t even hesitate, OK?

    • lesleehorner October 30, 2009 / 8:21 am

      Thanks Renee, I haven’t had a chance to respond yet, but I did read your message. I would also love for you to write a story that I can post….

      • Renee October 30, 2009 / 9:14 am

        That would require me to write a story. 😉

        I’ll work on it. I need to be more disciplined. Don’t feel obligated to respond. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

    • Drema May 2, 2010 / 2:16 pm

      leslee, I read your touching story about your dear friend Amy.

      It brought back a few memories regarding my sister. She too died of a brain aneurysm. Many years before her death she gave birth to a little baby girl. The cord had been wrapped around the babys neck 3 times. This was long before the technology that we have now, so the doctors just didn’t know how hard the baby was struggling. Unfortunately the baby never cried, and only lived for 24 hours. My sister was in a coma and never got to see her baby. It was a deep sadness that she carried all her life.

      • lesleehorner May 4, 2010 / 6:49 pm

        Thank you, Drema. I am so sorry about your sister and her baby. I can’t even imagine the loss of a child no matter what age…whether they are newborn or grown ups.

  2. renovatingrita October 30, 2009 / 5:10 pm

    Leslee, I am so sorry to hear of this tragic loss. Time will not heal this wound to your heart but might someday allow you to reflect on your beautiful memories of Amy without the overwhelming sadness you must be feeling today. Prayers for you and those you love. Rita

  3. moderndaystoryteller October 30, 2009 / 6:56 pm

    So sorry for your loss, Leslee. My thoughts go out to you and Amy’s family. The fact that you have written this is an achievement in itself. No apologies required.

  4. jane aka faerian October 31, 2009 / 4:39 pm

    Lesley – i honour your love for Amy and the celebration of your friendship – her life, love and the beautiful boys she gifted to the world… i send love to all those who feel and emptiness without her…what a tragedy

    the time when my life changed forever is when i put my first baby in the car to take her home from the hospital and i felt like someone would stop us, tell us “who did we think we were to be in charge of a baby???” and give us a good telling off…i was her mother. i was the one in charge. I was the one making decisions. With my husband of course but I WAS A MOTHER… i still feel that big pit of OH dear lord…ME??? Most days!

    • lesleehorner October 31, 2009 / 5:02 pm

      Jane-would you mind writing that up in a blog post and sending it to my email address? I would love to share your story….

  5. julian November 1, 2009 / 10:04 pm

    I am so very sorry Leslee. So, so sorry for you loss. I’ve been reading “Destiny of Souls” again and in times when life hurts so badly it’s the possibility of the concepts that book shares that gives me solace.

    You and Amy’s husband and boys are in my thoughts.

    • lesleehorner November 1, 2009 / 10:57 pm

      I was thinking about you today and wondered if you had been by and read the news yet. Thanks for your thoughts…

  6. Sam Gwen Mohr November 2, 2009 / 1:36 pm

    Sending hugs, love and support for you, Leslee. I am sorry this happened. I will be thinking of you, Amy and her family. ((hug))

  7. jane aka faerian November 3, 2009 / 3:06 am

    sure thing Leslee… i will gussy it up a bit….and let you know

  8. Halle November 3, 2009 / 11:16 pm

    Oh, Leslie. I don’t even know what to say as I sit here crying. I am so sorry for your loss and my heart aches for those boys and Amy’s sweet husband. Sending prayers and love to you all.

  9. Shannon November 8, 2009 / 4:24 pm

    Dear Leslee-
    You and your friend Amy, and her family have been on my mind and in my heart. Your writings are so beautiful and what a gift to your very special friend. Her spirit and memory live on through you. Sending you warmth and love.
    Shannon

  10. john cave osborne November 16, 2009 / 9:39 pm

    okay. i’m shaking. my wife, 5″2, 110 lbs soaking wet, was checked into the hospital at 27 weeks. neither of our triplets weighed more than 2lbs. we were emotional trainwrecks. it remains, and likely always will, the most

    after 2 different hospital stints with 4 weeks of at-home bedrest sandwhiched in between, and at 36 weeks of gestation, her pregnancy ended and a new chapter in our family’s life began with three beautiful babies. Amy’s ended differently and i don’t even know where to begin. but i’ll start tonight by praying for her husband, their two babies, as well as everyone in their family and network of friends.

    your novel? do it. write it.

    i always had that unwritten book, countless stories with 20,000 words down, but something always getting in the way. but stories happen to people who can tell them, and after one happened to me, i checked that off my list once and for all. and i didn’t have anything like the imetus for writing that you have.

    i feel like i have more to tell you, but this is hardly the place. thank you for pointing me to this post. -jco-

  11. mama2point0 January 18, 2010 / 1:52 pm

    I have an enormously large lump in my throat now, because this story hit WAY too close to home for me. (And on that note, I will submit my “aha” moment to you as soon as possible.) I am so so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was such a special person, and her kids will be able to turn to you for the bazillion great stories I’m sure you will have to tell them. Thanks for sharing this particular story, and I hope that you do indeed write down that novel that’s been swimming in your head. Sometimes the greatest inspiration comes from the greatest tragedies.

    • lesleehorner January 19, 2010 / 1:32 pm

      Thank you Mama!

  12. meeshelleneal June 7, 2010 / 5:05 pm

    I am so sorry about your loss but so grateful that you’ve turned it into a gain.

    Maybe someday I will have a story worthy of your beautiful blog.

  13. anna September 17, 2010 / 9:50 am

    it is a joy to see heartbreaking human circumstances met with such love and Truth … the writings of joel goldsmith are a Godsend to me too. i am so grateful for them. i always knew there was more to life than this human “sense” of existence.

    before the infinite way, the poet’s helped me a lot … tennyson “God is closer than breathing, nearer than hands and feet” … that takes the all-knowing creative principle of life right out of the sky
    and connects it up to individual being … which is brought out clearly in the goldsmith teaching … the oneness of God and man.

    would we ever worry or fear if we really really knew God was closer than breathing, nearer than hands and feet … right where we are … actually “what” we are. “we are made in the image and likeness of God” … we stick with the words until they become flesh of our flesh and bone of our
    bone.

    what a beautiful wake-up journey we are on. the best to all as we continue to meet every appearance we face with principles of Truth.

    lots of love, anna

  14. Sheila January 31, 2011 / 1:29 am

    I know what happened now, but I still think Amy’s story needs to be told. Just advice from a friendly , very happenstance by=passer.

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