So I am a freckly person. As an adult I like my freckles, but as a kid I hated them. I don’t know that anyone ever teased me about them, but I just couldn’t stand them. None of my friends had them and neither did my sisters. I remember being around 8-years-old or so and looking at pre-freckle toddler pictures of myself and thinking how much prettier I was without them. I was so relieved in Jr. High when I was allowed to wear make up and could cake on the foundation to cover them up. And when they started “retouching” school pictures I was overjoyed.
Lately I have begun to notice freckles sprouting up on Callee’s face. Oddly enough, despite how much I hated them on myself, I love them on her. I am thrilled at the idea of how she’ll look with freckles. It doesn’t make sense for me to feel this way. If I didn’t already know the definition of insanity, I’d say this was it. This isn’t just limited to these freckles either. I love when I see myself in my daughters. When I tell Callee to give me just 5 more minutes and she counts to 5 and then says “now”, then counts to 5 again and says “now” again, I think aw, I used to do that kind of thing too. And when Bella gets a little overly worried or remembers some fluke thing that no one else does, I smile a little inside.
I am trying to figure out why it is that I’m happy to see my traits (even the traits I didn’t/don’t like) in my daughters. I don’t know if it’s a need to be connected and to have something that keeps us tied despite where life takes us or if in actuality I am accepting myself by accepting them. When I find their quirks and flaws cute, I can see the beauty in mine.
When it comes to my daughters though, I most definitely feel that I am put here to hold their hands and guide them along their path. I don’t believe it is my duty to push or pull them onto mine. I hope that I am always willing to listen openly to them and to appreciate what makes them unique as much as I appreciate all we have in common. I hope that I can see past the similarities to notice what makes them special and help them uncover their passions and talents. I want their dreams to come true, freckles and all!