Freckles

So I am a freckly person.  As an adult I like my freckles, but as a kid I hated them.  I don’t know that anyone ever teased me about them, but I just couldn’t stand them.  None of my friends had them and neither did my sisters.  I remember being around 8-years-old or so and looking at pre-freckle toddler pictures of myself and thinking how much prettier I was without them.  I was so relieved in Jr. High when I was allowed to wear make up and could cake on the foundation to cover them up.  And when they started “retouching” school pictures I was overjoyed.

Lately I have begun to notice freckles sprouting up on Callee’s face.  Oddly enough, despite how much I hated them on myself, I love them on her.  I am thrilled at the idea of how she’ll look with freckles.  It doesn’t make sense for me to feel this way.  If I didn’t already know the definition of insanity, I’d say this was it.  This isn’t just limited to these freckles either.  I love when I see myself in my daughters.  When I tell Callee to give me just 5 more minutes and she counts to 5 and then says “now”, then counts to 5 again and says “now” again, I think aw, I used to do that kind of thing too.   And when Bella gets a little overly worried or remembers some fluke thing that no one else does, I smile a little inside.

I am trying to figure out why it is that I’m happy to see my traits (even the traits I didn’t/don’t like) in my daughters.  I don’t know if it’s a need to be connected and to have something that keeps us tied despite where life takes us or if in actuality I am accepting myself by accepting them.  When I find their quirks and flaws cute, I can see the beauty in mine.

When it comes to my daughters though, I most definitely feel that I am put here to hold their hands and guide them along their path.  I don’t believe it is my duty to push or pull them onto mine.  I hope that I am always willing to listen openly to them and to appreciate what makes them unique as much as I appreciate all we have in common.  I hope that I can see past the similarities to notice what makes them special and help them uncover their passions and talents.  I want their dreams to come true, freckles and all!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Freckles

  1. Lisa October 22, 2009 / 8:28 am

    Silas has quite a few freckles. He thinks that they make him sexy-time!

    • lesleehorner October 22, 2009 / 9:15 am

      That is awesome that he likes his freckles! I don’t know where I got the idea to hate mine, but I definitely appreciate them now. I think when I was a kid I just didn’t want to be different…

  2. Kasey October 22, 2009 / 12:15 pm

    My freckles really pop out in the summertime…my dad is covered in them…that’s what happens to the red heads I suppose…I’m sure my Carmen will have them too… Sweet post! Hope you are doing well! xoxo – k

  3. Ray October 23, 2009 / 2:57 pm

    That’s really insightful Leslee. Once again you’ve put into words my precise concerns & desires with raising my two boys. I want to help them on their journey, I’m fantastically excited to see who & what they become, and most of all, I don’t want to eclipse them with my own goals or try to shape them into something they simply aren’t. It is still so wonderful when I see them become excited or passionate about the same things that excite me. I’ll be more than content to see them become good, happy, caring people, no matter how the rest of it all turns out.

    And freckles ROCK!!!! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s