Ever since I joined Twitter, I’ve made some cyber-friends. It starts when you follow them or they follow you and you see a tweet that makes you laugh or sparks your interest. You might decide to RT (re-tweet) their post or reply to it with a friendly comment. So through Twitter, I have met @Empoweredandfit. I’m not sure if he knew Lissa Rankin before the launch of Owning Pink, but I know that he is listed on the site as “Pink God” (because he is in the business of providing wellness services and empowerment for women). Fred writes quite a bit for Owning Pink and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading his posts. When you read people’s blog posts and comments you feel like you are getting to know them and often times you want to reach out. This happened to me one day last week as I was reading one of Lissa’s posts with tears streaming down my cheeks. Fred had commented and after I read it I decided to contact him. Long story short, I discover that Fred does something called Intrinsic Coaching and we set up an appointment.
I’ve talked with Fred on 2 occassions now and it has been enlightening. The one thing that has struck me (and Fred) the most in these conversations is the amount of times I say “I Don’t Know.” I mean seriously, it is just ridiculous. What I really want to figure out is why it is so hard for me to just own up to who I am and what I want to be. I do know…I just don’t want to say it. What happened that made me so damn afraid to carve out my place in this world and stand in it? I mean I definitely have my little shovel and my lawn chair right now. I’m trying to make a dent in the sand, but then the tide rises and the hole fills in. I am timid and wimpy, but also called. I know that I was not reconnected with my long lost passion of writing for nothing. I know that I am not pulled to share myself with people for no reason. I have glimpses of a grand life, but if you asked me to share them with you I might end up saying “I Don’t Know.” It’s not because I don’t know, it’s mainly because once I say it, I might actually have to do it. And that I think is the real revelation in this. Stuck may suck, but it sure is easy!
Darling, I have found in the past that often when I say ‘I don’t know’ it is just that, that single phrase that is standing in my way. When you look back on it, it makes achieving and living your dreams seem so simple.
Love you,
Megan