Naware Healer’s Click

The following is a post from a fellow member of the Owning Pink Posse.  The day that I asked her to send in a click story she had posted the following blog on the Posse page.  We both thought it’d be perfect for my blog as well… You can follow her on Twitter and visit her etsy shop.

…she could feel it, the faint music, wheedling it’s way to her. If she concentrated too hard it would vanish, disappear without so much of a trace. But if she stilled her working mind and just listened, openly and unobtrusively she heard it as clear as day. It was a symphony of sadness, of pain and sorrow, swelling from regret. It would crescendo one final time and burst out into joy, wonder and excitement. It was the sound of fulfillment and awareness…of “everything going just right”. She smiled silently to herself, it was so much more than just a little twiddle…

it was the sound of her heart beating to her own tune, the smile on her lips curved a bit wider…

She murmured an almost inaudible thank you and walked away. She said good-bye to her fears and worries and embraced her new dreams and hopes. She had tarried long enough with these “friends”, these bedfellows of doom and gloom. It had never been a romance, but she had treated it that way and now was time for letting go, for moving on and she would do so graciously and with dignity…She mouthed a small thank you once more, harboring no regret or resentment to her old “pals”.

The door to a new chapter in her life was opening…and as they say: Temptation may lean on the doorbell, but opportunity may only knock once…

I’ve been feeling this for a couple of days. And perhaps I’m just so used to not recognizing and following my dreams that that is why I’ve struggled with it as long as I have had. Today I believe, was the last straw.

I have been laid up in between since yesterday, in terrible pain (still dealing with my women issues – though they aren’t quite as bad as they used to be). But “not as bad as they used to be” still is bad. But what did I so poignantly say to another friend of mine, referencing a blog I put up here… ” ‘things are only bad when you say they are’ “. Silly sometimes, how we can’t even listen to our own advice. How we will dig and dig in the rain, and wonder why our hole is just a mud puddle. Where we will use our dreams for kindling in the high winter of our lives, giving up all hope and wonder why they go up in smoke…yes, we are silly that way.

Just today, I spoke to a “family friend”. A woman I know because of my mother, and while I begrudge no one their thoughts and opinions, it doesn’t mean I want to live them out as my own life. She said to me, well with all of your healthcare experience you could get a job real easily, and if you go back to school…

That tore it, I started feeling agitated, I felt the desperate need to get away from her, even though I was hundreds of miles away at my home at my computer. But there was something stifling and oppressive in her comments. It reminded me of back home, of “duty”, of being what everyone else wanted and never acknowledging me. It reminded me of something a “mother” would say, most specifically mine.

I guess the lightbulb was starting to come on, but I waved it away in my agitation. I promptly told her “I had to go” and signed off the site. I went to two of my dear female friends who have almost made it an occupation listening to my rants and railings against how “unfair” my life is being…Unfair, I laugh at it now, but had someone done that to me just hours earlier, I’d have likely flipped out on them…

They both said the same to me: they mean well, and in caring, they think they’re doing the right thing. One apologized for being that way herself to me lately – but it wasn’t her that I was railing about, and in fact I even told her she wasn’t. She insisted, and I briefly remembered a comment that could qualify…but as both of the women are several years my senior and almost old enough to be my mother…I didn’t really take it to heart. Funny.

Since I’ve laid down and now am up again…I checked the mail to no avail, and sat down again before diving back into my book (my current mode of escaping “life as we know it”). But right now, I realize something. And I know now – in thinking it – that it has been stewing in my mind all day…I want success, joy, to be able to creatively pursue that which I love. But what am I doing to express that? Nothing. I’m just whining and lamenting the fact that I gave up on “shoulds” on Friday and am upset that my dreams aren’t here already and fulfilled on Wednesday. BUT what have I done to help them along? Sure I’ve made a couple of things…but it’s been the frantic and chaotic workings of a madwoman…there has been no real effort so what am I bitching about? I’ll be honest, I have no idea.

I know some of the things I need to do. I need to update all of my email signatures so they extol my business and healing center.

I should change my name on various sites to reflect my services.

I need to use all those handy widgets I have access to (that are free I might add) and advertise across the bazillion social sites I’m on.

I can blog more…it’s not like I’m not verbose enough to have something to say.

And I’m sure there are several other things I can do. Just need to do them…just need to stop straining to hear that symphony and relax and then the beautiful sound will come to my ears and uplift me. Stop railing against the “unfairness” and make my life what I wish it to be. By focusing not on what I don’t like, what I wish wasn’t here…but appreciating what IS.

Ps, Thanks Leslee!

Attitude Adjustment

I’m in the middle of reading a book called “Living with Joy” by Sanaya Roman.  Like so many of the books I read, a touch point in it is the power of our thoughts.  Today in church we sang the song “Our Thoughts are Prayers.”  We are all spiritual beings in physical bodies.  The thoughts that flow through our minds have energy attached to them.  The more emotion we feel along with our thoughts, the more power they have.  The combination of our thoughts and emotions work together to create our life experience.

I am currently in need of an attitude adjustment.  There are certain areas that I’ve been halting my own progress by holding onto negative thoughts.  I signed up with my sweet and inspiring friend @meganmonique to join her on a journey to health.  I’ve written two posts about my struggle with weight and now I seem to be back in the boat of trying to lose again.  I never made it to my ideal weight and then during the holidays I added a few more pounds to the scales.  I’ve been making wiser food choices and working out for over a month now.  I’ve lost three pounds.  I expected to lose that much the first week.  This time around I’ve chosen to be quite hard on myself.  I tend to beat myself up when I eat a little too much or skip a workout.  I overlook the beautiful aspects of myself and focus on the flaws.  I tell myself it’s just not working this time.  I think constantly about how slowly these changes are happening and how it seems I am taking one step forward and two steps back weekly.  If my thoughts are prayers than I can tell you I am getting EXACTLY what I’m praying for.

The other change of attitude I need is in the area of my creative writing.  I’ve been talking about that novel idea I have since I started this blog.  I even started posting the “click stories” in order to give myself more time to write fiction.  The pessimist in me tells me often that I don’t have enough time or resources to work on that novel.  The research seems like a daunting task, one that I don’t feel capable of taking on.  My hope is that it would be the first novel in a series, but how do I pull together the overarching plots and themes and still come up with an exciting subplot and storyline for this first book as well as the other three I’d like to follow it.  I say the time isn’t right just yet, but am so lovingly reminded by a friend that I could just be procrastinating.  So again, I send all of these negative thoughts out into the Universe and what returns to me is a form of writer’s block.

My goal for this week is to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.  I completely understand the value of focusing on the good.  I have watched relationships turn around.  I’ve accomplished things I never in my wildest dreams would have guessed I could.  I’ve been able to feel peace in moments that would have devastated me years ago.  I do, in fact, have the time, creativity, intellect, and ability required to write those novels.  I’ve done it before, so why in the world would I create a self-fulfilling prophesy that says otherwise?  My highest intention is to be mindful and appreciative.  There is so much good in my life, yet I am often too busy to stop and say thank you, thank you, thank you.  The more that I recognize the good and  embrace that there is an endless supply of it just waiting for me to dream it into reality, the more joy and peace I will experience in life!!

Thomas Paine

The following are quotes taken from “The Age of Reason Part One” in The Thomas Paine Reader.

“I believe in one God, and no more; and I hope for happiness beyond this life.”

“I believe in the equality of man; and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavouring to make our fellow-creatures happy.”

“…the creation we behold is the real and ever-existing Word of God, in which we cannot be deceived.  It proclaims His power, it demonstrates His wisdom, it manifests His goodness and beneficence.”

Waiting Room

Waiting Room (2-4-10)

I sat across from you

in that room

protruding bellies

surrounding us

Tears streaming down your face

knees bouncing

a hand reaches for yours

he tries to understand

can’t quite

grasp

the loss

and emptiness

Your sadness reaches me

I feel the weight of it

hold back my own tears

fight the desire

to kneel before you

hold your hands

sob with you

wish I could

tell you

about the Angel I know

the one who will hold

your baby

since she didn’t get the chance

to hold her own…..

You’re the Star!

This month at church, Rev. Jean is doing a series on the new book “The Fifth Agreement.” The book and the series include a review of “The Four Agreements,” so that’s what the talks of the last two weeks have been.  Last Sunday she discussed agreement two: Don’t Take Anything Personally.  I particularly enjoyed the way she presented the idea.  She had us all imagine a scene from our life and watch it in our mind like a movie.  Then she pointed out that the way we view the scene is only our perspective and if we watched the same movie through someone else’s eyes it would be totally different.

The reality is we are the stars of our own movies, but for everyone else we are merely supporting characters in theirs.  As I write blog posts, I often wonder what people are going to think.  Thanks to Facebook, I’ve reconnected with a lot of people who knew me at different phases of my life.  Everybody has a different version of me in their minds.  I question how my version…the real me…measures up to theirs.  Are they disappointed, pleased, shocked, or attracted?  Sometimes when I am retelling events as I remember them I worry.  I worry because A.)I have a terrible memory and B.)what if my memory doesn’t match up with those involved.  I’ve read a couple of comments on other blogs where the writers have more or less been accused of lying.  The thing is, I don’t believe they were lying at all, but rather recording the memory how it played out in their movie.  When I was in 6th grade I was best friends with a girl named, Brandi.  I remember so much about our friendship.  I remember listening to Bon Jovi, playing with my hamster, jumping on the trampoline, interviewing each other on cassette tape, and climbing out her bedroom window late one night at the end of the summer (don’t worry we didn’t go any further than the driveway).  When we got back in touch on Facebook she sent me a message saying that whenever she drives by my old neighborhood she remembers swimming at my house and eating frozen Milky Ways.  We had carried with us completely different memories of the same exact friendship.

There are a lot of things that people hide or change about themselves depending on who they are in the company of.  We do this because we are afraid of what others will think of us.  We are afraid of rejection.  A positive thing we can learn to do for our own peace of mind is to not take anything personally.  Everyone is the center of their own Universe.  Whatever statements they may make to you or about you doesn’t really have anything to do with you.  It’s just a role you’re playing in their movie and that role most certainly does not define you.  For me, I am learning not to let the criticism or praise from others become a master over me.  I have an array of ideas in my head and people of all walks of life could read my blog and find stuff they love and hate about me. If I tried to please them all (which I have spent a lot of energy in my life wanting to), I would not be living my own truth.

Laura’s Click

Most of my click stories have come to me by way of politely asking or sometimes pestering my writing/blogging friends.  A few of them have arrived in my inbox like an unexpected gift.  When that happens I am thrilled.  The following is one of those glorious surprises.  You can follow Laura on Twitter here and read her blog here.

When I was 9 years old I ran into a glass window.

This is probably a common thing amongst children however when I ran into the window, I hit it at such a force that my arm went straight through it. I heard the glass shatter but didn’t notice the extent to which I was injured until a few moments after. I retracted my arm unaware that I had gone through the glass, it was then that I looked down at my wrist that I saw in plain view, roughly 2 inches of my wrist bone seemingly swimming in an deep open wound. One of the worst parts of it is that I don’t know whether or not I cut myself when I fell into the window or when I pulled it back. I went cold and grey but couldn’t muster up the words to tell my friend what had happened. Needless to say, she noticed, an ambulance was called and I had to have emergency surgery to fix it. Although my arm was left in tact it was the things that I overheard the doctors telling my mum. How if the glass had cut half a centimetre to the right then my arm would have been paralysed for the rest of my life. That would have been the more fortunate of the circumstances. It was then that I realised I was mortal. When you’re a child you think you’re indestructible and the moment that you realise that you can die, that is the moment your life changes.

For me, that moment has been the most memorable of my childhood. It was the moment that I realised I was on a time limit and therefore had to do as much with my life as possible.

I very much doubt that this will be the most monumental moment of my life, but it’s these little things that make you realise how lucky we all are. It’s the little details that we take for granted. I am always shadowed by the thought that if I hadn’t worn a watch that day then I would have bled to death from a severed artery. It’s the possibilities; it’s when something almost happens that you begin to explore the possibilities of what could have happened. It’s those situations that make you wary of everything you do in the future.

Of course the later in life and more emotionally complex we become, the more effected we are by situations. But the things that happen to us are children are rarely looked upon as important to later life unless they are psychologically damaging; “children are fickle, they forget”. But this really should not be the case. If anything it is the small things that happen to us as children that make all the difference. A child, once bitten will shy away from it’s attacker for as long as they deem it possible. It is those things that stick with the child until conquered, but if you’ve hated something for your entire life, then it is all you know. Learning to live with the thing that you have been scared of for as long as you can remember is something of an achievement. However, learning to live with it is sometimes not enough; there is always an optimistic side.

Since that day, I have become scared of the sound and the sight of broken glass and I have to wear things over my wrist to keep it ‘protected’. But on the brighter side of things, with that past memory lingering in my present so much it means that my entire outlook on life has changed for the better. With every decision I now make I always think “you only live once”.  Because of this I have traveled, I have leared and I have ultimately become a better person because of it.

And all it took was a glass window and a bit of ordinary, everyday (taken for granted) luck.

Reason

I have had a burst of inspiration since yesterday.  There are so many blog topics flying around in my head that I’m not quite sure where to start.  I just left my friend Ray and have already changed the subject I’d told him I was going to write about.  Yesterday I picked up a book that I’d borrowed from a friend.  I’d been coveting this particular book on her bookshelf for over a year now.  Finally, she asked her husband if I could borrow it and I had a chance to read some of it.  All I can say is that I get it.  I get why something in me wouldn’t let me forget about that book.

A couple of years ago I had a very vivid dream.  I dreamed that I was hanging out with Thomas Paine.  I was in his inner circle, a member of the entourage.  I woke up the next morning and jumped on the computer.  I needed to be reminded who Thomas Paine was.  A quick search uncovered that he was (most commonly known as) the author of “A Common Sense,” “The Rights of Man,” and “The Age of Reason.”  I knew then I needed to read (or reread b/c I probably read some of it in school) his works, especially “The Age of Reason.”

I’m pretty sure that the writing and releasing of “The Age of Reason” ruined Thomas Paine’s reputation.  After his truth was out he was deemed “that filthy little atheist” (from the intro to “The Age of Reason” in The Thomas Paine Reader).    I have found, in what I’ve read so far, that I share a lot of the same ideals as Thomas Paine and he was most certainly not an atheist.   What he urged people to do was to apply reason to their religious or spiritual quests.  Don’t just believe it because someone said it, try to discover it for yourself.

He pointed out that the Bible was written by man.  He poses the question of how an unfathomable God and Omnipotent Creator of the Universe could be brought down to man’s level and recorded in the pages of a book.   He points out that nothing written about Jesus was written by Jesus.  Everything we know of Jesus is hearsay.  He is quite critical of the Bible and it’s authors.  (This is still something I can’t speak to since I haven’t read the Bible completely.)  But again he pleads for us to use our reason.  He concedes that our ability to reason is a gift from God that we seemingly throw away when we decide to believe without question.

Thomas Paine was a deist.  He believed in one God.  He acknowledges that God is not in the written words of man but rather in the creation itself.  I realize with each new book I read that everyone tries to record their experiences of God.  By the time I leave this earth I will probably have read thousands of descriptions of what God realization feels and looks like.  That does not make me a God Realized individual.  I can step outside and watch the sun rise and set, go to the beach and observe the tides change, acknowledge the death and rebirth cycles of the trees in my yard, and feed the visiting finches.  In these activities, I can reasonably see and feel God.  I can embrace the patterns in nature and know that there is a Creator that brings forth miracles right before my eyes every single day!

I salute Thomas Paine for owning his truth and being brave enough to share it with the rest of us!  And I thank C and L for lending me the book that may just lead to my biggest “click” yet!

JCO’s Click

I met John Cave Osborne on Twitter shortly after Amy died.  After he learned the story, he reached out to me and expressed both sympathy and empathy.  He is the father of triplets, married to a beautiful and petite woman (just like Amy).  The story hit close to home for him because his wife had been through some of the same issues with early labor and bed rest as Amy had.  He has become a very good friend, spiritual companion, and cheerleader.  You can visit his blog, follow him on Twitter, and find information about his upcoming book “Tales from the Trips.”  Please enjoy the story below that explains the road he took to get where he is now!

The Jungle and the Machete

In 2001, I flew over 100,000 miles, visiting places like Vegas, Tahoe, and South Beach for fun and places like Birmingham, Tupelo, and Macon for work. I was a financial services wholesaler; a white-collared gunslinger, clad in a tailored suit—armed and dangerous with my carry-on, the Wall Street Journal, and a frequent flyer card.

After the first full year at my job, I won my company’s highest honor for sales excellence, the Reach the Peak award—an all-expenses-paid vacation for two anywhere in the world. But in spite of my professional success, I was a personal failure. And while this isn’t the forum to explain why that was the case, I will offer the following. I continuously molded myself to become whatever it was I thought people wanted me to be. In so doing, I had morphed from a person into a persona and was dangerously close to losing touch with who I really was.

I cashed in my Reach the Peak award on a two-week South African tour. It was in that foreign land I began the long process of rediscovering myself. It was there I realized how unfulfilled I was, as well as how much more I wanted from my life. I longed to fall in love, settle down, and have children. I also longed to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. Finding love and writing the perfect novel weren’t exactly the typical topics my metro-sexual buddies and I discussed while clubbing in Midtown Manhattan, yet I was at a point where I needed to give such concepts the attention they warranted. I knew that if I was really serious about trying to find a more fulfilling life, I needed to change my playgrounds as well as my playmates.

So in April of 2002, I quit my job and blew up my world. BOOM. Done.

In the months that followed, I was lost as a bat. Many couldn’t believe I’d thrown it all away, but I didn’t care what such people thought. I was deep in the throws of a spiritual reawakening, thanks, in part, to a few special friends and a couple of books by C.S. Lewis. (Incidentally, if you’ve not read Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters, it’s not safe for you to die yet.) I repeatedly pondered God’s will for me, near convinced that it included a wife and little ones, hopeful that it may even contain writing. I constantly prayed for God to show me the way, confident that something would soon reveal itself.

I was wrong.

Eventually, I moved back to my hometown and started a granite countertop business with my sister-in-law. The first two years were sheer hell. I found myself working doctor’s hours at janitor’s pay, much of them in the form of grueling manual labor. My dream of writing? There was simply no time. My dream of finding love? Though I was more true to myself than I had been before, I was still bouncing from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. By 2004, I was officially in a rut, often wondering if blowing up my old world was the right call after all. I grew skeptical that love and family were in the cards for me, but, regardless, I knew that God had something planned and I repeatedly prayed for Him to show me how to find it. Those prayers continued to go unanswered.

Enter Caroline, a girl I had known since 1980, but one I had not seen nor spoken to in over a decade. I was coming off of (yet another) dysfunctional relationship, and she was emerging from the wreckage of an unsuccessful marriage. We formed an immediate bond, and I was incredibly attracted to her. Sadly, however, I knew that our relationship had no future. Thanks to a few different trysts with single moms in my past, there was one thing I was certain of: I was not interested in becoming a step dad. Period.

But in spite of that preconceived notion, I fell madly in love with Caroline. And then something else happened. I fell madly in love with her daughter. Two and a half years later, Caroline and I got married. Thirteen months after that, we welcomed triplets into the world. Once worried that I’d never get married and have children, today I find myself happily married and the father of four. The business that used to suffocate me is now up and running to the point that I’m able to spend more time writing than I ever dreamed possible. Could it be that after all these years, I’m just now on the path that God had intended?

A close friend of mine, Dr. Michael Ruth, recently told me that, to him, God’s will is nothing more than each of us standing on the outside edge of an impossibly thick jungle armed only with a machete and the knowledge that God’s got our back. As I reflect on my journey, I believe my friend is right. God’s will isn’t something that’s magically revealed to you just because you’ve prayed about it. It’s not something that’s laid at your feet. It’s a feeling that’s deep in your soul. And that feeling is what you use to guide the machete as you cut your path through the jungle that lies ahead. That feeling is proof that God does, indeed, have your back. Other than Him and the machete, it’s all that you’ve got. Other than Him and the machete, it’s all that you need. The path you forge with the tools He provides is His will.

I’m so incredibly thankful for my beautiful wife, my four children, the successful small business I co-own, the time I’m able to spend writing, and the indescribable happiness all those things have given me. Not so long ago, it seemed unlikely that I’d be in such a spot. But I guess I just kept hacking away until I found them. I’m not naïve enough to think that my work is through, for I know how easy it is to get lost in the jungle. As I continue to forge my way, I’ll continue to uncover countless new challenges and will undoubtedly find myself lost as a bat again and again.

And daunting though that may be, it doesn’t change one simple fact. Above all else, I’m most thankful for the One who put me on the outside edge of this impossibly thick jungle. For without Him, the machete, and the feeling He placed deep within my soul, I would never have found any of the other wonderful things for which I’m eternally grateful, nor would I be able to continue making my way through His beautiful jungle.

Heavenly Helpers

I read a lot of books that can only be described as “woo-woo.”  Some of my favorite authors are also psychics.  A recurring theme in these books, written by folks who let their intuition and sixth sense guide them, is their knowledge and work with heavenly helpers.  If you read a book like “Ask Your Guides” by Sonia Choquette you will find a list of spiritual helpers awaiting your requests.  There are angels and spirit guides.  Certain guides will help you find your lost keys or get you a good parking spot.  There are healing guides that will help you recover from sickness or emotional trauma.  There are angels and guides that are connected just to you and by your side at all times throughout your life.  The loved ones that have transitioned from this life to the next are also out there in spirit, shining light on us if needed. You can read a number of books and end up with a list about a mile long of all the entities available and willing to help you.

At various times in the past few years, I have worked to strengthen my intuition and tap into the heavenly resources.  I’m not really interested in talking to spirits or seeing the future.  My goal is to simply be connected and awake enough not to miss the signs that are there pointing me in the right direction.  If I can manage the little things more smoothly than the big things become attainable because I am actually aware enough to identify them.  I have found that if I’m around the house and looking for a lost object if I simply say aloud “Where is that ___?”, it will suddenly pop up.  When I first discovered this trick I would start the questions by first saying “Angels.”  One day we were looking for the remote and I asked the angels to help us find it.  Suddenly Callee stopped, laid on her stomach, reached under the chair, and pulled out the clicker.  I responded with a “Thank you, Angels.”  Bella quickly corrected me and said “Callee found the remote, not the Angels.”

Many times when I am meditating I feel that I am not alone.  I have often felt a presence beside me or in front of me.  If I ask a question while meditating the answer often arrives in my consciousness.  Once I even put in a request to meet an old friend in a dream, in order to make peace and ask for long overdue forgiveness.  Sure enough that night, I dreamed about the friend.  We expressed our love, exchanged a hug, and I woke up feeling lighter.

Unless you are a brand new reader to this blog, you know that one of my best friends, Amy, passed away in October.  Recently something concerning Amy was weighing on my mind.  I just kept asking her how she wanted me to feel.  For two days I felt her presence.  I can’t really describe it (other than the chills I got while talking with her mom on the phone) but I just knew she was with me.  I kept getting message after message that everything was OK and exactly as she would want it to be.  By the end of the two days this undeniable, unwavering peace had washed over me.  I knew and know that everything is just as it should be.

One thing I have learned over the last few years is that we are all capable of fine tuning our intuition and realizing our own “psychic” abilities.  We all have them, we just don’t all choose to use them.  For me, I’m still probably more of a skeptic than I am a psychic.  I don’t believe everything that I read by some of my favorite authors.  At times the ego gets crossed with those heavenly messages and you have to stop and ponder a bit.  My favorite spiritual teacher, Joel S. Goldsmith doesn’t even encourage a focus on psychic abilities.  He believes that it all comes from God anyway, so if you contemplate and meditate on God you will receive everything you need for this journey.  But he also recognizes that you can commune with any spiritual teacher you’d like whether living or dead.

Below I will list some of my favorite authors.  If anyone is reading this and interested in learning more about Angels and Spirit Guides, I would recommend them.

Sonia Choquette

Sylvia Browne

Doreen Virtue PhD

John Edward

Allison DuBois

James Van Praagh

Michael A. Singer

Today I pulled the book “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer off my shelf and began flipping through.  I usually underline or highlight in books I’ve read.  I flipped through the whole book and found one page with an underline on it.  Here is the whole paragraph, I’ll underline the part that was underlined in my copy.

“Your cage is just like this.  When you approach the edges you feel insecurity, jealousy, fear, or self-consciousness.  You pull back, and if you are like most people, you stop trying.  Spirituality begins when you decide that you’ll never stop trying.  Spirituality is the commitment to go beyond, no matter what it takes. It’s an infinite journey based upon going beyond yourself every minute of every day for the rest of your life.  If you’re truly going beyond, you are always at your limits.  You’re never back in the comfort zone.   A spiritual being feels as thought they are always against that edge, and they are constantly being pushed through it.”